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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I posted upthread.

She flew in on Monday and here are things she has cried about during her visit:

1. My nephew kept calling her my name the first two days.
2. When she complained that my nephew was trying to touch her with sticky hands, my SIL took him to another room. 
3. She didn’t have her hairspray.
4. On Thanksgiving, we only took one photo of the 4 of us.  She felt the photo was unflattering and when her relatives posted online she “didn’t have anything to post.”  
5. I am a nanny and gave my SIL some outgrown winter gear from my nanny kids for my nephew.  My mom has local friends with kids his age and tried to get me to promise to give the clothes to them instead.  I said that I would not have time to drive from Alexandria to Rockville to meet up with her friend.
6. We planned to do a Christmas gift exchange the Saturday after Thanksgiving.  Mom asked me the night before whether we would be taking pictures of that.  I said that yes, we would for sure be taking photos to send to brother and she might be in some of them, but we wouldn’t post online without her approval.  She took this to mean that she should wake up early to do her hair an makeup and was upset that nephew ended up being awake half the night then sleeping in late-ish.  She accused SIL and I of coordinating this and not telling her.
7. We did photos with Santa and she wanted to buy everyone dinner after.  When we got to the restaurant I said that I felt uncomfortable dining indoors unmasked but was happy to just sit with them and entertain nephew.
8. Same mall outing, she was upset that we said we would keep walking and meet up with her in a few minutes rather than bring nephew (who tbh is a real handful) into Pottery Barn.

In general she has a lot of anxiety and tends to fixate on situations that might be unpleasant as if they are a disaster to be avoided at all costs.  For example, we went to the mall where there is a little train kids can ride on and she spent two days before seeking reassurance that she could choose for herself to ride or not ride.  We do not have a history of forcing her to do things.

Also SIL and nephew and I all LOVE sushi so we usually order sushi when she visits me and nephew remembers and asked about it on day 1.  My mom hates sushi and has mentioned at least twice a day every day that she does not like sushi and does not want to order sushi and please don’t make her eat sushi.  We have never tried to get her to eat sushi.

She has a lot of food issues in general and wants to make sure that everyone is eating the same thing she wants to eat so that we are all agreeing that her food preferences are normal.  She was personally offended that I ordered a kale salad to go along with Thanksgiving dinner and literally complained for 5 minutes, including retching noises.  She also feels that only thin people deserve dessert but has a major sweet tooth so it’s a careful balancing act where if she wants to eat something sweet she has to first convince someone else to eat that thing so she can have slightly less than they had.  But if I (her fat daughter) have a big dessert then that is also upsetting.  I have to eat more than her but only by a little.  We did this dance for every slice of pie all weekend.

Whew.  It feels good just to type it all up.[/quote]

Your MIL sounds very similar to my MIL.  Especially trying to get everyone to agree that her weird food preferences are normal!  She constantly talks about all the food she doesn't like.  Great, I DO NOT CARE.  Eat what you want!  Or don't!  Whatever.

She also complains the kids don't love her best, and then refuses to play or do anything the kids actually want to do.  So yeah, they like the aunt who does play with them?  Or yes, sometimes the kids prefer their mother?  She's cried about this.

Your SIL is certainly a saint.  I would not be hanging out with my MIL if my DH was not around.[/quote]

My SIL has a theory that she doesn’t want to eat stuff but also wants us to beg her to eat it to prove that we are trying to include her.  I think she might be on to something.  🤣[/quote]

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