Reply to To you, what's the bottom of the "elite" colleges?

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[quote=Anonymous]As dumb as this thread is, I’ll share a little anecdote:

My husband’s family has a couple generations of Princeton grads, including his mother (one of the first women admits) and his father. My husband went to Yale - and rejected his Princeton admission - and it caused a huge uproar in his family, even among aunts and uncles. He was the rebel kid.

I went to Dartmouth and met DH right after undergrad. When I met his parents it was clear that I *barely* passed the “is she elite enough to marry my son” test. Like, they acted at times like I went to community college. I actually never applied to Princeton (I applied to Harvard and was rejected) and my ILs have used that at introductions at parties - “she went to Dartmouth, but the poor thing didn’t know to apply to Princeton, so we’ll never know if she would have been admitted!” I mean, heaven forbid someone in their circle thinks their son married someone who *didnt* get into Princeton.

There are people - many, many people - who look down on anything that’s not Princeton or maybe Yale. Harvard, among these folks, is widely known to accept “anyone” if they score highly enough, whereas Princeton and Yale look at overall “pedigree”. Like, Harvard is obviously for dorks and losers, not well rounded children from elite families. Stanford is in California and no one cares about California, and literally no other school is worth mentioning. Like, they are all the same. Ordinary schools for ordinary people. None - none! - are elite.

This is dumb, of course, and I absolutely hate my ILs and the circles they run in. But it puts into perspective that what is regarded as “elite” really depends ENTIRELY on your audience. I mean, there are women in this family who married Harvard grads and you should see how they’re treated - like interlopers who just barely managed to get an invitation to the ball. There’s one cousin who went to U Penn, but everyone kind of knew she was a loser, so we just are polite and don’t bring it up. I mean, all of this is so dumb, but I swear to god I’m not exaggerating in the slightest.

So you can argue on dcum about what is and isn’t elite, but to the people who see themselves as elite, I can guarantee you - you aren’t. I’m not. Almost no one is.

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