Reply to 3.5 and 4 year olds not potty trained...how did that happen?

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Reply to "3.5 and 4 year olds not potty trained...how did that happen?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Some kids have delays and it takes a long time. Some have fears and withhold. Some caregivers/parents aren’t firm enough or don’t go into it with a solid plan. Some wait too long thinking it will be easier when the child is older. I’d say half the time potty training issues are due to the kid and the other half due to parents.

This is not a judgement or blanket statement, but as an anecdote I have three friends whose kids did not PT until 3-4 and had a horrible time getting there. [b]Each of those kids also had bad sleep habits — never sleep trained, wake multiple times, and bed share. Generally they were catered to I think too much. Again just anecdotes of what I’ve seen in my circle of friends but in SOME cases the whole “baby tells us when baby wants to do anything” hands-free route can cause major problems[/b]. [/quote]

This. The children I know who aren’t potty trained by a reasonable age have parents who think they are nice to their kids by not establishing boundaries.  They don’t want potty training to be stressful and practically expect the child to get their on their own.  Similar story with sleep training.  I’ve never understood it because it’s not like there is some benefit to a child by not sleeping well or going in a diaper at age 3.  These parents seem to really struggle and it will be interesting to see what happens as their children get older and don’t have parents who will establish boundaries or rules. many of the moms in these situations seem to be moms who get a lot of their identity from parenting.  They are all about their kids and their kids come before really anything or anyone including their spouse.  There are a lot of common characteristics with the kids who aren’t potty trained at a reasonable time and it’s interesting.    But you can’t ever say anything to these parents because they assume you just have a good sleeper or a child who was easy to potty train. Nope, my kid is stubborn too but I did the hard work because of what is best for my child.

Unfortunately the pull ups encourage later potty training.  [/quote]

My child is 3, resistant to potty training, and has been sleep trained for over two years. He has boundaries and is a sweet, kind child. There is no one size fits all answer. Stop judging parents and maybe acknowledge that they know their child better than you, a stranger, does.[/quote]

Yep. I have two boys. My first was potty trained at 2. It wasn't easy but took about 2 weeks and we were done. We tried with my second at age 2 and he resisted mightily. Same a few months later at age 3. Then he developed constipation and we struggled through that. We consulted a potty training expert and a psychologist. We went through a lot over about a 20-month period. He always had peeing in the toilet downpat but he was using poop as a control thing-- it was all behavioral. We finally cracked the code at 4.5.[/quote]

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