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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Because a night of solo bedtime for DH means I owe him a night where I am flying solo at bedtime so he can go out, and a night out is hardly ever worth that to me. [/quote]

I feel this so hard. My youngest didn’t sleep through the night until he was almost 3. He had night terrors and would scream until he threw up. I was a zombie and it took everything I had just to stay employed. My husband offered me a weekend away, but I couldn’t do it because I knew I couldn’t offer him a weekend away and I couldn’t be alone with my kids for 36-48 hours. My husband could do bedtime for our 2 kids alone, but I couldn’t go out because I knew I would likely be awake from 1-3am. Friends would ask how I was doing and I would say my toddler was a crap sleeper, but no one understands unless they also haven’t slept a full night for several years. I just kept putting things off with friends because I thought my kid would out grow it. Every month I thought “next month will be better” but it never was - not for a long time.

If someone had offered to come to my house and just sit and talk over a glass of wine for a hour once the kids were asleep and then leave, I would have been so grateful. [/quote]

This! I would love for someone to just come over and hang out for a little while with zero pressure to cook, dress up, get a sitter or negotiate with my DH, etc. I'm so tired, but I love my friends and miss hanging out.

It's hard though. If they have kids they are in the same boat (and don't want to be the ones to travel). The ones without kids are more likely to come over but it's weird because sometimes it seems like they don't believe me when I say that this is what I want. I have to offer 3 or 4 times and they're still like "are you sure? I don't want to impose." At which point I get paranoid that they really don't want to come and are just being polite.

And Covid made this worse because until vaccines it was weird to invite people into your home for a while, and I think we're all socially awkward still from that.[/quote]

I used to do this with one of my girlfriends and she had young children and I was single. It was relaxing for me too. When her kids were older (and at their dad’s), I’d hoped she’d come visit me and my newborn. Nope. It was a bummer. Those nights with her were so great. I miss her. [/quote]

I'm PP and I'm sorry, that's sad. I can relate because I was almost the last person in both my family and friend group to have a kid. It's a bummer because when their kids were young, it was easy for me to visit, spend time with their kids, hang out at their houses, etc. But by the time I had my DC, their kids were in elementary and middle school and their lives just didn't allow for that kind of hanging out. I felt pretty isolated during my maternity leave and the infant/toddler years because I'd had this idea in my head of what it would be like based on the time I'd spent with my friends during that stage. But instead I was mostly alone. It was hard.

I don't think people understand how lonely it is to go last.[/quote]

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