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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would feel differently if Dorland were doing anything inappropriate at these events -- asking Larsen direct questions, making her presence known in bigger ways than simply attending the event with her name, etc. But she's just going to the events. What does Larsen want? For the entire writing profession to ban Dorland from any future participation? [b]Oh wait, that is 100% what Larsen wants. Who is obsessed with who again?[/b][/quote] Larson: Stays in Dawn's private facebook group, reads every post, discusses it with her friends, steals passages from Dawn's letter, writes a whole story inspired by Dawn, names it after Dawn's email signature "OMG Dawn, why are you so obsessed with me?!!" [/quote] +1000, nailed it. Look, sometimes people get under your skin for whatever reason. That's clearly what happened here for Larsen -- there were things about Dorland that pushed her buttons. But part of being an adult is having the self awareness to realize when this is happening and make mature choices about how to handle. Larsen handled this like a teenager would, and even worse, her friends facilitated that choice by doing the same. At any point, Larsen could have said "You know, this is obviously something that annoys the crap out of me. I'm going to (1) distance myself from Dorland and stop engaging because it's obvious we are not friends and I don't like her, and (2) spend some time thinking hard about why this is activating me and see if I can untangle it. Who knows, maybe some good fiction will come of it." That was always available to her, but she instead chose the least mature, most provocative route. It's annoying. When you actually understand the timeline, another thing you notice is that Dorland actually did work hard to step back from the relationship, and to create space. She didn't interact with Larsen for two full years. She sent a pretty thoughtful email to Larsen in which she offered to just remove Larsen from the group (a magnanimous way to just and the problem that Larsen specifically chose not to take up because she wanted access to Dorland). Dorland also had voices in her life willing to say "maybe you are making too big a deal of this." It's obvious from the NYT piece, for instance, that Dorland's husband had suggested the story wasn't a big deal. But even he was a bit shocked when he saw the degree to which Larsen had lifted language from Dorland's letter. All around, it seems like Dorland is a sensitive person who was working hard FOR YEARS to keep her feelings in check and not blow this situation up. And Larsen is immature and petty and basically wanted to stir up sh!t with Dorland in order to ensure Dorland knew she was inferior and disliked. And worst of all, it's going to work because Larsen's similarly immature friends have decided to play along. These people are in their 30s and 40s! That is messed up. I initially thought "these people are both troubled." But the more I learn, the more I think Larsen probably owes Dorland money for therapy bills. There was just no excuse for Larsen's behavior and the gaslighting and ganging up in the last week has made it so much worse. I really hope Dorland actually gets the support she needs from her own friends and family because she deserves it. She donated her kidney to a stranger! She obviously has many redeeming qualities and deserves kindness. She definitely doesn't need to be the target of adult trolls so unhappy with themselves they must take it out on someone they deem inferior.[/quote] Yes! You are 100 percent spot on. Both posters actually. Oddly on this forum I feel like there are many people who can be derisive and even mean but this thread is showing another side with thoughtful posts like this. We can be mean, small, whatever but we hopefully all have some boundaries. It’s sad how many people, reading the tweets and texts people dug up like the mean dude chip cheek trying to use her - maybe those were people trying to impress their friends and score a goal on someone who has no idea. I wonder if they feel shame? I am sure somewhere ive said things and piled on about people. I recall once really lashing out inappropriately and making comments about a woman a boyfriend dumped me for long long ago. I was hurt - I would still be so so ashamed of those went public. So why isn’t Celeste ng and all the other writers in the chunky monkey group deeply ashamed of how they came across and treated someone? Even if the person really did give a kidney strictly for performative reasons, as PP2 says, just back away and ask why this person is riling you up. I feel super depressed reading this and these posts are making me feel better. It’s rare we all or most of us agree here![/quote]
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