Reply to SAHM’s - anyone successfully convince DH to support their staying home long term?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]RE: What do SAHMs do for 6 hours

Well, what do YOU do on the weekends? SAHMs do that. Don't you have any hobbies? Do you read, work out, listen to podcasts? Do you have pets? Do you ever clean your house? Do you ever volunteer somewhere?

Is it hard for you to fill six hours on a Saturday? It's really not that much time.[/quote]

Umm on weekends I do the yard work, food shopping, cooking for the week, laundry and prepare everyone for the week ahead. I then rely in the work I did in the weekend to get me through my week of working full time and shuttling kids to sports.

I have a hard time fully comprehending how they fill their days if the sole focus is ‘supporting the house and family’. [/quote]

NP and working mom. I COULD fill the time but I certainly don't need it to do the things that have been listed. Are SAHM just inefficient? I don't outsource, I work full time, I cook meals from scratch, I exercise, and I go to work. We get it done, the kids help, it's all good. And to the PP who said plenty of people retire early or are wealthy and stay home, sure - but I bet their spouse isn't grinding out 40+ hour work weeks while they sit at home in retirement bliss and eat bonbons or listen to podcasts. I completely understand why a working spouse would want the SAHP to get a job when the kids are in school all day. [/quote]

Ahh...I get your question now.  I think the issue is that it’s the wrong question.  You are asking what SAHMs are doing while their husbands are working because you have it in your mind that is the time to work, and evenings and weekends are used for leisure and housework.  But SAHMs have their leisure time during the school day.

I stayed at home, then went back PT from 8am-3pm.  When I was a SAHM, I was on evenings and weekends.  Sure, my husband might go golfing after work or on the weekend, but I never would.  I had plenty of time to do that during the school day.  He might get home, say that he’s tired and go listen to a podcast for an hour before he joins the family, or leave to go to the gym for a little bit after dinner, or join a church committee that meets weekly in the evenings, or host an evening journal club.   And that was all fine because I had things handled at home, and I had my own time to do that stuff.  
If someone needed to run to the store in the evening after the kids went to bed or make sure that a uniform was clean, or deal with the leaky pipes, it was always me (or me supervising the kids anyway).  I supervised all homework and went to all parent teacher meetings, doctors appointments, etc.  I did (or supervised the kids doing) all of the house cleaning, mowing, and yard work.

When I went back to work PT, I was still home when he left for work, got the kids off to school, went to work, got home just as they were coming home, and went in to the same evening routine that I always did.  DH stepped up for a bit, but we quickly went back into the old pattern, and I don’t think that he ever really saw it as his job to be sure that housework and homework were done or that the lawn didn’t go to seed.  I had no time to see friends or read or watch television.  And when he would get home and say that he was going to relax for a little bit, or decide to sleep in or schedule a golf game for the weekend, I would see red.  And when I scheduled hair appointments or left to go to the gym in the evenings, he was angry as well.  We both wound up pretty resentful.

Anyway, I understand where OP is coming from.  She knows her husband, and it sounds like she doesn’t trust that he is really planning to step up and do his share, give up some of his free time, and recognize that they are both going to be working harder.  He will no longer have all of his evenings and weekends free while she holds down the fort at home.

Anyway, asking what SAHMs are doing during the school day is asking them what they are doing with their free time, not asking what they are doing when they are working for their families.  And so, of course, you are going to get answers consistent with what people do with their free time.  [/quote]

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