Reply to SAHM’s - anyone successfully convince DH to support their staying home long term?

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Reply to "SAHM’s - anyone successfully convince DH to support their staying home long term?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]+1

You can fill 6-8 hours a day, but that doesn't mean that the things you do during that time are actually necessary. Your husband may not think that home-baked bread or pinterest-worthy birthday parties or whatever are important.

I really think that you have to come at this, not as "How do I get my husband to agree that I never need to work again?" Because that pits you against him. Treating staying home like a big favor you're doing him is foolish. You're doing it because YOU want to; be honest about that. It might make his life easier in some ways, but you're not being altruistic, so don't pretend that you are. And don't inflate the stuff you do, or downplay what he does. Sit down and figure out your family's financial and other goals. See how you staying home v. working part time v. working full time fits into those goals. Think about what's really important and what you can compromise on. This needs to be something you work out together. If you stay home and he's not on board, it's likely to just fester or create resentment. You need to act like a team.
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Yep.  It will fester resentment unless wife has independent money of her own, e.g., an inheritance that buttresses the family coffers.    Maybe DH wants to retire at 60, not 70.  Are your children's college plans fully funded?  That was a big reason that a couple of my SAHM friends went back to part-time work.  Agree with all PP that you need to sit down and make a realistic list regarding chore sharing, the quality expectation regarding each chore, and the associated chore if it will need to be outsourced when otherwise it would be done by you.  Marriage is a partnership.  You now have more time on your hands than your partner.  You can fill it with a part time job, volunteering, or undertaking a substantial family project (like a house renovation).    How old are your respective parents?  Do they need additional care?  But don't expect your partner to respect you if you just want to sit around not doing anything additional.  [/quote]

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