Reply to I don't want to be under pressure when my DH isn't

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP you should’ve married my DH. All he cares about is work and making more money. We have barely spent time with him for nearly 10 years because of it.

Check your priorities. [/quote]

Yeah I was shocked when she said that they take one vacation a year, if any. Sounds like OP is so focused on her kids future when they are 18+ that's she's missing out on a lot of bonding and important stuff when they are young [/quote]

[b]I would get the side eye big time at work if i tired to take 3 (a few) vacations a year. [/b]I would love to, believe me. 
DH enjoys his copious free time off though.

Because I miss my kids I spend every minute of every weekend with them. I realize I sound pretty frank in this thread but I am a very maternal mother and have a great relationship with my kids. They are my universe and the reason I do everything I do. I want a divorce but haven't done it yet because I don't want to mess them up.

Look, if i got a lower stress job or just stopped caring so much about getting promoted, sure, we would be ok. But I would sorely miss the feeling of making progress towards financial goals. I am a "long time horizon" person, that's just me. I was the kid who didn't eat the marshmallow. I worry about the future, and with good reason in my family many times!!! I always anticipate things that could go wrong and avoid them. [b]I don't want to be foot loose and fancy free a few paychecks away from disaster, no thank you![/b] [/quote]

If you cannot (CANNOT) take more than one vacation a year, you need to change jobs.  You are not going to look back when you are 80 and feel warm fuzzies about all that time you didn't take off.

RE footloose and fancy-free being a few paychecks away from disaster:  You've created a false dichotomy.  You can be financially stable and e.g. have a robust emergency fund, a vacation fund, and cover college tuitions, yet not be in a position to e.g. make the down payment on your children's first houses.  It's not all or nothing.

Life is not a dress rehearsal.  Think about what you want for your children and yourself NOW.[/quote]

PP here. I have never taken more than one vacation a year in 20 years and I work for a nonprofit. Saying she has to switch jobs for this reason is ridiculous.[/quote]
Wow, what nonprofit is that? I was getting 6 weeks of leave a year when I worked for a non profit - what do you do, sit at home burning your leave? That seems sad.[/quote]

Technically I get four weeks...I can't take it. I have too many deadlines. I only took 6 weeks of maternity leave for my kids. Everyone else got 4 months. I do more than one person's job. It is just the way it has been for me...so don't act like everyone working can just take multiple vacations a year.[/quote]
My guess is you are one of these people who just love to martyr themselves. You probably own a home, a few cars, take vacation, “have” to pay for kid’s’ extracurriculars, eat out a few times a month. You are doing this to yourself. [/quote]

You'd be wrong. I just have a challenging job. I guess you don't. I have to take random days off when I can. I only take one week a year. Deadlines don't have vacation. It is all year. I don't eat out. I don't take vacation (I stay home), I have one car.[/quote]
LOL. OP you sound very important with your desk job and deadlines. The world will simply stop spinning if you take a day off I’m sure. [/quote]

I seriously want to know her industry. It sounds like non-profit journalism/publishing? Which BAFFLES me why she can’t just take leave and someone cover for her. [/quote]

Because I am literally a staff of one person and they would never hire anybody else because I can do the job of multiple people. This is not uncommon in nonprofit publishing. There is literally no one else on staff to do the work. [/quote]

So wait, you are are the high earning spouse, and you work in non-profit publishing? Like a trade magazine for an association?  And no  you can't do the job of multiple people unless you give up your vacation; that's literally false.[/quote]

OP and the above person are different [/quote]

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