Reply to If all your siblings went on vacation without you, would you be hurt?

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Reply to "If all your siblings went on vacation without you, would you be hurt?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op stated very clearly that she and older sister DON’T want sister number 3 to come. I.e they WANT to EXCLUDE her.  Yes that is extremely hurtful.

It would be less hurtful to say we want this trip to be for older kids/adults - you are welcome to come without young kids. Ok understandable. And sister will probably refuse given she is unlikely to leave 5 month old.

It’s hard for me to understand though how OP can claim to be close to her sister and that an honest conversation cannot take place e.g. we planned this adult/older kid ski vabcation a long time. It’s not going to be appropriate for your young kids. However we have a little extra space and think it would be a nice wedding gift for baby sister. However we don’t want you to feel excluded or hurt if we invite her.  We are assuming you wouldn’t want to come without your little ones.  Or something like that. Not sure why there can’t be honest communication about this dilemma. [/quote]

I think people are missing the fact that the 3rd sister doesn't just have little ones. She has older kids who are the same age as OP's kids, but are not as good of skiers. That's why she doesn't want them to come, because they will hold her kids back.[/quote]
Which is a perfectly legitimate consideration, particularly when with an infant and a 4 year old to take care of who is going to be responsible for skiing with the sister’s older 2 kids? OP has planned this trip with her family and their skiing abilities in mind, she shouldn’t have to change it to somehow make it fit for a family with 4 kids, 2 of which are too young and 2 of which are not as experienced as OP and her family. This isn’t excluding the sister becuase they don’t like her or don’t want to be around her, it’s because her family is not a good fit for this trip. The idea that people can’t plan a specific type of vacation and include only those that would be a good fit for that vacation because someone who isn’t a good fit for the vacation will get their feelings hurt is absurd. [/quote]

Literally no one is disagreeing that the OP shouldn't be able to go on the vacation she wants. She should go with the older sister and their kids as planned. The problem arises when they invite the youngest sister, so three families are going on the trip and only one family is excluded, because they are "not a good fit." That's a dick move. If you can't see that, I really don't know what to tell you. [/quote]

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