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Reply to "My sister just tried to stage a parenting intervention with me, basically"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP’s sister’s head would probably explode at the amount of screen time my kids have had since 2020.[/quote] +1. People losing their minds over the 30min a day her kids get and I’m over here like…whoops! [/quote] I sincerely doubt that kids who have their own individual iPads get only 30 min a day. That’s a total lie. I’m a big more lax on food treats but I find it pathetic that kids can’t entertain themselves without zoning out on iPads. Watching a show or movie together, sure. Reading a book or doing a puzzle to recharge alone, sure. When my kids are older I fully intend to let them watch a movie with ice cream every night (assuming we’ve had active days).[/quote] My kids regularly watch shows and movies ... on their iPads.[/quote] I'm with you all the way OP, you're on vacation... have fun! Kids shouldn't live their lives with such rigidity, it's more harmful than helpful. They need to know that if you work hard in school, help out around the house & generally be responsible & amiable, that they'll also receive fun little rewards along the way for being so helpful. Life is filled with reciprocity. My kids also watch shows & movies on their iPad, they love doing inquisitive puzzles, as well as reading their "chapter" books on it too. Puzzle boxes are a huge hit in our home, so we started buying them intricate puzzle boxes from Asia when they were 4 or 5 years old (similar to the ones Lara Croft deciphers in Tomb Raider). Well, they now also have puzzle boxes for the iPad, hallelujah! There are also games that aren't mind numbing -- my son plays a cool atmospheric game about opening up the world's most complicated puzzle box. The ASMR on the touchscreen is SO satisfying because you're cracking the clues, deciphering hidden codes, turning clicking switches, swiveling & latching keys, clacking & fidgeting with levers, bolting & disengaging locks, etc. As you progress you uncover an intriguing, almost Lovecraftian narrative that's very cool. Another favorite of theirs is one that they explore seemingly impossible architectural spaces inspired by the genius & mind curving artist MC Escher. To effectively circumvent this type of conundrum, you need to modify the way your brain ruminates, as you'll have to use various methods of thought to complete it with success. Reading books on the iPad saves us a hell of a lot of space without having to buy 10 Percy Jackson " adventure type" books each year. I'm eternally thankful that I'll never have to buy another hard or soft covered physical book again (oh, and when we go on vacation, ALL the books come with us... every single one in their virtual bookshelf). I think you need to do some research and maybe broaden your horizons a bit, because if you think kids are just "zoning out" on iPads... wait... what exactly do you think kids are "zoning out" watching in their iPads anyway? 🤔 Lastly, to all of the judgmental mom's on here -- please don't confuse your need for control with being a better parent than the OP is. Your condescending tone isn't fooling anyone. Life shouldn't be all one way or the other... it shouldn't be too rigid, nor too compliant with every whim and wish. Life shouldn't be lived with deprivation, moderation should be practiced in every facet. My mother was very similar, however I saw first hand how living life with such rigidity, inflexibility & stringency can lead to anxiety in children. I saw it first in my older sister, then in my younger sister -- they both developed debilitating anxiety, as they felt the need to live up to some baseless level of perfectionism (that they neither wanted NOR hoped to achieve) however, neither wanted to risk upseting our mother and triggering her anxiety and anger. Imposing severe restrictions in your kids does NOT provide the level of stability that you think it does, because it makes your kids feel like freaks from everyone else around them. Different families, different rules is an awesome philosophy, I love it! However, that philosophy definitively changes & becomes toxic when you begin to realize that it's pretty much ALL other families that are similar and then there's... yours. All of those descriptors are interchangeable, because they all require total & dedicated focus on a destructive anxiety... a demanding compulsion to control (which is never a healthy combination as kids enter their formidable teenage rebellious years, fyi). Control is an illusion that cannot ever be achieved by anyone -- the tighter you grasp for control, the looser your grip on it will become. [/quote]
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