Reply to Messed up marrying the wrong guy, where to go from here

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My SIL ended up divorcing due to a similar situation but she ended up waiting until her kids were in high school. Her ex is a nice guy but she wanted someone super ambitious. [b] What I think she couldn't see was that his lack of ambition made it much easier for her to become successful[/b]. [/quote]
+1 I stated exactly this up thread.

How does OP think this woul play out if she marries a man who is super ambitious? Do you think he will take time off work to do the doctor's appointments, school activities, deal with sick kids, and in the past year, stay home with the kids to help out with zoom learning or if the daycare closes?

I guess you could just hire an au pair if you both are ambitious and make a lot, and just let your au pair raise your child.  I'm not saying it's bad to get an au pair or nanny (we had one when the kids were little), but it would be really difficult for two ambitious people to spend much time with a child.

I'm betting you were able to achieve what you did in part due to your DH being a great father.

I'm 51, and my kids are teens now.  The time commitment from parents actually varies by the kid's age. At 2, the needs of the child are mostly physical, but as your kids get older, there is a lot more time commitment for planning and scheduling.

I guess if you marry a  more ambitious man your DH will have partial custody, and you will rely on him to take half the load of that time commitment, much like he's probably done throughout your marriage.  I would not plan on relying on your super ambitious new husband to help out that much.  You'll be a partial single parent.  How do you see that playing out with your career?[/quote]

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