Reply to Why do some men check out of their kids' lives after divorce?

Forum Index » Parenting -- Special Concerns

Reply to "Why do some men check out of their kids' lives after divorce?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Because the Mom makes it so difficult on him and causes so much drama. She engages in parental alienation to turn the kid against him anyway and he’s just fighting a losing battle until he finally gives up. [/quote]

Yep.[/quote]

There is literally nothing that would stop me from trying to get to my kids. I would never, ever give up. And I think most women are the same. Why do men just give up? [/quote]

Because offspring requires less commitment for males. A man could sire a baby every day all year long if he had access to enough fertile females. It’s a few minutes “work” for him. A woman makes a 10 month investment. [/quote]

Most men marry for the sex, not the kids. If they let the kids go their behavior says it all. The courts will enforcement child support and whatever custody is on the divorce decree. 
If the guy is a crappy dad then yes the woman can easily move on, and find a real father for the kids. I've seen that quite often. Or the man that sires other kids is often broke paying various women, not to mention low class and tacky. They are out there..[/quote]

wow, just wow.[/quote]

Not nice, but a harsh reality for many. [/quote]

No its not.  Most men aren't encouraged to be Dad's between the local and federal laws and women can easily push them out of their kids lives with no consequences.   That is the harsh reality.  Until we place an equal importance on Dad's in kids lives, nothing will change.  If you read this post and others, this is why men give up and check out.  Women place no value on kids having a Dad except money and once he women alienate the kids, there isn't much that they can do.

You are part of the problem.  Don't complain when men check out given your attitude.[/quote]

the problem isn’t “placing value on Dad’s in kid’s lives”, the problem is getting Dads to do the work of parenting without being asked, told or mandated.

My ex has never attended a school meeting,[b] a medical appointment, bought the kids clothes, thought about what they would do for the summer, enrolled them in extra curriculars or driven carpool. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink. [/b]

Moms and Dads who do the work of parenting are automatically part of their kids lives. [/quote]
+1 I spend a ton of time researching camps for interests, dates/time, logistics.  If you leave it up to most dads they'd just stick them in any summer camp that has space at the last minute. No thought to what the child might actually be interested in.  The good camps usually fill up super earlly.

How many dads know their kids' shoe sizes?  Are there some, sure.  But by and large, it's the moms that take the lead on this without being asked to. They just think about these things.

Men are too basic to put any thought into something as "trivial" as summer camp or whether the kids have the correct shoe size. They just assume that a 5 yr old will evetually tell the parent that their shoes are too small or that they are hungry, but it doesn't work that way.  Dads aren't as good as anticipating their kids' needs, and that kind of attitude is amplified when the parents divorce.[/quote]

LOL! PP, this is a very generalized statement. May be it was your experience with your ex-H or dad but not everyone's here. What you have mentioned here is more than a decade old; dads are a lot more involved now.I have 50% custody of my kids and know everything from their teachers, doctor's appointment, their fashion, H&m style, eye glasses. Everything from top to bottom. In fact, I think I do a lot more than their mom because she has a busy job. I am seeing higher trend with single moms being checked out of kids' lives these days. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics