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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We used to be this and I cut back. I ended up staying home and had a third child. DH earns a seven figure income and I’m a SAHM. We live in a nice house in mclean and our kids attend public school.

I was just missing my career today. Reading this post reminds me of how hard it was when I was working. I used to cry because I missed my baby’s bedtime most nights. Getting an hour with your baby in the morning just wasn’t enough. I actually did cut back and it still was hard. I remember having two drop offs and pick ups when my older child started elementary. I was always scrambling.

I used to have a full time nanny plus preschool. Then I had a housekeeper and cook. It was really hard to get a PT afternoon sitter/driver. I remember writing the description for care.com and I decided I wanted to be the one to take my kids to sports and activities, help kids with homework and feed them dinner. We would never have had our third child if I was still working.

I don’t think your dual long hours are sustainable. We do know families who have multiple nannies or a FT nanny even when kids are in elementary. [/quote]

That's exactly what this boils down to, PP. I'm happy for you that you are in a better place. Working moms are in a rough spot. We've been fed the line that we must get out into the working world to prove our worth (and pay homage to the feminist leaders before us) but [b]we also have been sold the line that we can have it all. The fact of the matter is that we absolutely cannot.[/b] OP, you cannot have it all so you must choose. You either outsource your household duties (and much of that mothering) or you give up your current career path. One of those will have to give. I'm not here to tell you which is more valuable, as that's for you to decide. But if you wish to continue with your hours and DH's schedule, you'll have to hire more help. And you'll need to balance your budget to do that. Figure out what line items are really worth it (good bye cars) and ante up for the extra domestic help.

I know we all read the Atlantic article a few years back about not having it all. I'm 40+, 3 kids and found it out the hard way in law. I now work for myself and am WAHM full time. It works for me but I won't have the upward income mobility as OP. I am raising my own kids, doing all the cooking/cleaning/sports events because that was the choice that I made. OP, figure out your choice and roll with it. Because we don't get it all in this life. And no, your DH doesn't either despite what PPs here may say. [/quote]

Not true. Of course a hardworking parent in a high-powered career can "have it all" with a rich and fulfilling home life. How do we know? Because men have been doing it for generations. Wanting to "have it all" is not the problem. Partners who aren't on board are.[/quote]

that's just not true. We cannot have it all. The definition of "having it all" has been being able to spend quality time with the kids, parent as you see fit, attain the career goals that you want and make the salary that you desire. Men have outsourced the first half of that for centuries and have not parented. They outsourced all home/parenting duties to SAHMs. If working moms want to outsource parenting to SAHDs they can absolutely do that, but they are not "having it all". That is the conundrum. Do you want the work life or the parenting life? Pick one and outsource or limit the other.[/quote]

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