Reply to Can we talk about parents buying their adult children luxury homes

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So many jealous people on here, starting with OP. My parents have nothing and won't be leaving us anything. But my husband and I have been smart with saving and investing and now own three homes. That is our "nest egg" for leaving to our children and I fully intend to help them when and if they need it and we can afford to. [/quote]

That wasn’t her point. It’s the adult kids who get handouts but still look down at her for her place in life and pretend like they made it themselves. Give your kids money, but I hope they don’t pretend like they earned it or begrudge those who have to scrape out their own livings. It’s the façade that gets me![/quote]

That point is irrelevant. Anyone who begrudges or looks down on another human being for their position in life is garbage, regardless of how they achieved their own position. Earning your money completely with zero help doesn’t give you the right to look down on others and get a pass from being a garbage individual. Hence why OP comes across as pretty much garbage himself / herself. [/quote]
The anger here is unbelievable. I’m guessing most of you are not self made but probably like to present yourself as such and this struck a nerve. [/quote]

I just don't understand this. [b]How on earth would I "present myself" as self-made? [/b]If you know my job and where I live, you know the story. Or at least that I had some windfall. If you know my parents, you know even more! I just don't think this "pretending to be self-made" thing exists except in your head. I'm sure there are a lot of people who are your acquaintance who don't immediately explain their finances to you, but that's not at all the same thing. This is a thing you're making up.  [/quote]

+1 - what does this even mean?

I'm a NP who got 400k from her parents towards a 1.2M house. Our house without the help is more than we could comfortably afford but is within reach on our HHI with a bit of stretch... so I don't know what "pretending to be self made" would look like. Is the other PP suggesting I disclose our finances to anyone who sees our house? I don't lie about it, my close friends know that my parents helped us, but I don't talk about money with people who are not close friends (or anon on DCUM!). Period. I'd say we are somewhere in between getting it given to us and being self made - DH and I are products of a lot of intergenerational and systemic privilege, and we also work our tails off to have a nice life.

Anecdotally, many of my friends are in similar situations. Mid 30s, two professionals making 250k+ (in some cases much more), parents helped with downpayment to make life a little easier. We're still paying off a decently-sized mortgage... so we made something ourselves. [/quote]

I was totally with you until you decided that hard work means you “earned it.” Hard work is almost irrelevant. Being a dishwasher is hard, hard work but it doesn’t get you squat. [/quote]

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