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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I solved the problem myself. I called MIL last night and explained where I stand. Everyone wants something special for their birthdays. For MIL, it means gathering her family around, and we always oblige. One of my SILs loves tea parties for her birthday, with dresses and everything. We also oblige, even though several of us have boys who are hardly into fancy tea parties in the garden. For my birthday, I want to be with my immediate family. It is a simple request. She said SHE understood but it all came down to her other kids, that "they would be hurt". Well, it is not about them, it is about me. Vacationing with many people in the house is not my idea of a "good time". Once a year we are allowed to be selfish. Especially in this current health crisis.[/quote]

Good for you OP!

Though your husband really deserves a good talking to about making plans like this behind your back. He should be your biggest advocate in his family, not throwing you under the bus.    [/quote]

Nice that you have relationship with MIL that could make the call, but curious, did DH apologize to you?  Has he already or will he apologize to his family or is he leaving it all on you?  No fun for you if he's leaving you to "take the blame" no matter how this all came to be, but especially no fun for you if up until now he's been telling his family of course we'll come, how much fun, she'll love it! [/quote]

Her other “hurt” kids can all still get together! Just not using you as their reason/ excuse. [/quote]

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