Reply to Why does my partner pay $2400 a month child support for one kid?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would be glad he supports his child.  If this bothers you even a little, this isn’t your scene.

Stepmom here. [/quote]

Stepmom here, as well - and I’d say it depends.

DH’s ex is completely toxic and overbearing. He never got any say in how his kids were raised when they were married and it didn’t change after the divorce. Her ability to actually co-parent is zero.

In this instance, he is doing the honorable and stand up thing and paying his calculated cs - as well as extras for which he gets no actual/effective say.

When they turn 18, he’s done, and I 100% agree with that stance.

OP - I think this situation depends. Are you guys in it for the long haul? How old are the kids? What are the laws in your state? And, most importantly - does he get equal say in the parenting realm?

If yes to the latter and he is paying what is deemed “fair” by the state, you need to step back and let this play out. If there are toxic dynamics at play AND you guys are planning a future together, I would say voice your concerns and start having the hard discussions about how this situation will impact your future. [/quote]

The day the youngest turned 18 was amazing.  Once they turn 18, you define the relationship and money.  No more having to go through mom and the games.  Allow him to be done at 18.  I encouraged the relationship to continue and it was a huge mistake.  It was all about money and Mom kept calling and demanding without producing bills/statements as to the need so we could pay directly.  Eventually we learned to say no.  Funny, after we started saying no and setting clear boundaries she became much nicer.   But, she destroyed the relationships and the kids are paying the price now given how their lives have turned out, especially in terms of their own relationships.[/quote]

This times a billion.

And all of you biomoms out there who want to call us stepmomsters should take heed whilst you’re busy alienating your kids from their dad.

Mom wanted to call ALL the shots when they were underage? She can reap what she sowed when they are grown. Period.[/quote]

I don’t think you’re making a good case for stepmothers here ...[/quote]

Ok. Can you give me a reason why the failings/manipulations of the mother constantly go unheeded? [/quote]

unheeded by whom? the court ordered the child support be paid to the mother. you just seem like you can’t stand the fact that she gets to make decisions about what you perceive as your money. [/quote]

She wants to be the HBIC. [/quote]

Unheeded in conversations like these - by people like you.

There are plenty of mothers who are just as bad as the proverbial “deadbeat” dad.

They are manipulative takers. And at some point, the father and his new spouse get sick of it and do what’s call drop the rope.

If you think that makes us bad people, go for it.

But, when a woman cheats on her husband, ends up divorced, refuses to give the dad a say in how parenting is going to happen (even though they have 50/50 custody),[b] is fat and creates fat kids, spoils the kids to the point of entitlement, and you think everything is still the dad/stepmoms fault? [/b]

I can’t even give credence to what kind of person you think I am. Because obviously you have issues of your own.

[/quote]

You continue to give us a clearer picture of exactly who you are - a controlling, nasty, hateful woman.[/quote]

^^ I should add that you need to be thanking us.  I suspect that your dh doesn't dare go against you in regards to this matter because of the hell he will have to pay.  However, he needs to ask for his balls back and tell you to butt out and shut up.  Maybe you need to reflect on what numerous people that are likely from very different backgrounds and circumstances are telling you.  [/quote]

No, no. You have that wrong. The woman who took his balls is the woman who married a man she didn’t love, doubled down by having not one but two kids with him, cheated on him (and her kids - so there’s that), blew up their marriage, raised two spoilt children - and still to this day insists her way is best.

I’ve supported this man in actually taking his life back from her. His kids will come around once they are adults - or they won’t. Life is life, and sometimes it truly sucks. But very little of the blame for this unfortunate situation is actually either his or mine to own.

To that end, once this chapter is over and we are free of her and her influence, we both need to make choices that are in the best interest of our lives together, first and foremost.

I’m sorry if that doesn’t sit well with some of you.

Sorry you [/quote]

I feel really sorry for your stepkids. With every post you are showing you are fixated on their mother being evil and yourself as the savior of your DH. There’s no way that hostility and delusion doesn’t also transfer to how you treat the kids. You’re a bitter, immature, greedy person. [/quote]

OP doesn’t have stepkids.  She’s a girlfriend, not a wife.[/quote]

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