Reply to Why does my partner pay $2400 a month child support for one kid?

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Reply to "Why does my partner pay $2400 a month child support for one kid?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Unheeded in conversations like these - by people like you.

There are plenty of mothers who are just as bad as the proverbial “deadbeat” dad.

They are manipulative takers. And at some point, the father and his new spouse get sick of it and do what’s call drop the rope.

If you think that makes us bad people, go for it.

But, when a woman cheats on her husband, ends up divorced, refuses to give the dad a say in how parenting is going to happen (even though they have 50/50 custody),[b] is fat and creates fat kids, spoils the kids to the point of entitlement, and you think everything is still the dad/stepmoms fault? [/b]

I can’t even give credence to what kind of person you think I am. Because obviously you have issues of your own.

[/quote]

:shock:  :shock:  :shock:

Seek help, OP. If your list of grievances includes his kids’ mom’s weight, you are not right in the head.

And refusing to pay for your kids’ college when you are able to do so isn’t “dropping the rope”. It’s garden variety “being an asshole”. His kids will never forget that he abandoned them as soon as he legally could do so. But hey, you’ll get more of his money, so who cares, right?[/quote]

Really? I’m not right in the head because I’m focused on her weight?

Well, her weight is directly correlated to her eating habits - which is what she is ingrainjng in her children. Do you know what those habits entail? Eating out of a box/bag multiple times a day, most days of the week. Do you know what that does to a kid’s palate? It makes it so that they are addicted to sugar, fat, and salt. If you don’t know what that does to a kid’s health, then I suggest you read up. But, in a nutshell, it results in obesity and prediabetes. Frankly, it’s borderline, if not straight up, abuse. And yes, we have done our best to counteract that influence - but it’s pretty hard for reall food to compete when Mickey D’s is the default every other week. And now that they are older and have jobs/their own money, the real food is even less appealing. It’s a horrible, horrible struggle.

Further, you want to call a dad - who is going to have parameters about how college money is spent an asshole? Go ahead. He, and I, prefer to call it teaching these kids valuable life lessons - such as the fact that the world isn’t going to just hand you all of your desires on a silver platter. You actually have to work for them. Sorry if you disagree, but college is an investment - and they need to know that going in. [/quote]

Let go of the weight issues.  When the kid is bothered by it she will do something about it.

My husband told his kids that if they want money for college he will be involved in the process and will see all the paperwork that is sent.  He will also see any paperwork they get back.  He wants to know the total costs, how much is financial aid and how much the child is contributing from summer jobs and how much mom is contributing (and with the older ones that meant is she using the child support money she gets for that child to cover some of the expenses).  The kids and Mom said that they didn't have to be accountable to him and he said that's fine and that they can figure it out.   We assume they got full rides with Mom's income as she regularly hid the fact she got child support, alimony and his retirement money or they took out loans.  One kid never went to college, sadly, others did.  Kids did remain on Dad's insurance as long as they could but eventually each got kicked off as they wouldn't provide documentation that they were in college.

I don't know any parent who pays for college - married, divorced, only parent that doesn't expect accountability in terms of the application process and regular grade updates.  My kids know that we will be involved, they will go to a college we can afford to pay for/no loans and they will provide us with grades and other updates.  Or, they pay for it themselves.  If you want to be grown, then that means you become fully responsible for yourself.  Mine are younger and they know they are accountable in terms of their grades and behavior if they want us to pay for anything outside of needs.  If you want to act poorly, I will not pay for activities and all the extras.[/quote]

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