Reply to Why do husbands never leave for the affair partner?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’ve had an AP for three years and we both like our spouses except the marriages are sexless. There is a lot about my wife that I prefer over my AP and my AP is not someone I’d want to marry. She’s fun, likes sex and there are NSA. [/quote]

Those strings will hang you when one of your spouse’s finds out.  And they will.  You will regret every minute you spent with that AP.  The light of day reveals how truly ugly she is...trust me.  They will flip on u.[/quote]
No. Worst case is the spouse finds out and they divorce. If not for his AP again his only option is divorce. In no scenario does he regret sex with AP.[/quote]

When he loses his wife and kids and begs and cries and moans in agony all for a woman he never loved, wasn’t that attractive and used for sex...yeah he’s pretty upset he risked all of that for a skank.  9 times out of 10 they tell their therapist if they could go back in time they never would have done it.  However, you can’t unf@ck that donkey, so the damage is done.[/quote]
What in the world are you even talking about? It's just sex. Get over it. Nobody cares! 
A divorced dad "loses his kids" exactly the same as his wife does: it is called 50/50. And there is no LOSS when a sexless wife finally decides she no longer wants to be your platonic room mate.

The thing you fail to understand is this: a sexless marriage is ALREADY over. Divorce is absolutely zero threat because there is nothing left to lose in the dead sexless marriage, only everything to gain by an affair to "save" the dead marriage.[/quote]

I think this PP is spot on.[/quote]

lol you have never been through all the financial and personal upheaval of separating households with kids. there is a LOT more than sex and a lot to lose. that’s not to say it’s not a justification for divorce, but unless you think sex is literally the only thing that matters in life, you’re vastly oversimplifying. [/quote]

I had a sexless marriage. It was like I was dying every day. I stayed for 10 years. I filed for divorce. No affair. I am a woman. I felt like I had nothing to lose. There is some financial loss but it can be mitigated. I was desperately unhappy. [b]The marriage was over at the beginning. It was a show[/b]. Losing some money was worth it. I have kids. Staying would have been worse long term for everyone. The marriage was over; divorce was necessary. So, yeah, I have been through it. [/quote]

What does this mean? Did you not have sex for ten years?

For most couples, marriages become "sexless," and it's usually for reasons that are far deeper than sex, so divorcing *just* for sex is pretty rare. [/quote]

In total, no sex for for 8.5 out of 10 years. But there was no relationship...it was like a roommate/coworker. No real love. We never should have married. Staying just for finances would have been stupid. I did not feel like I lost anything. Some marriages are mistakes. There was no emotional or personal upheaval for me. None. Whatsoever. Kids, yes. Divorce was freedom. Second kid was conceived after the first big almost 3-year drought. Nothing after. [/quote]

Immediate PP here: my point was that the poster who said a sexless marriage is a dead marriage already. It is true. I lived it. Far too long. If my ex had an affair, I would not have cared. Sexlessness was both our faults...low T plus resentment and no love. It was dead. If there had been an affair, it would not have mattered...it was already dead. A marriage that is really sexless is already dead and on the road to eventual divorce. An affair actually might have made it easier to leave sooner. [/quote]

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