Reply to How to keep the other woman away from my child?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

OP, your daughter is a teen and won't want to spend her weekends with a traitorous father and and his moral-free mistress.

[b]Sign her up for a bunch of weekend activities.  ALso, since he is the typical male, he won't really want to take up his weekends with his kid. [/b]

My bet is 1 year from now, visits with dad and the vapid woman will be few and far between.[/quote]

No.  How childish.[/quote]

New poster here who is divorced with older kids who did well. This advice is SPOT ON. Her daughter needs to be kept busy with friends and role models and activities and support so she can feel normal and be shielded from broken-hearted/fragile moms, cheating dads, and mistresses.

I have no idea how the father will react, but this is very good advice. [/quote]

No  it is not good advice it is using your child as a pawn to get back at your ex You can dress it up and call it a million different things , but when it comes down to it, it's an attempt to alienate the child from her father because you ( rightfully) have hurt feelings.[/quote]

It is very good advice. The child needs to be kept busy to feel normal and maintain social contacts and stay as far away from grieving mothers and cheating fathers.

And I'm not the person who originally gave her this advice. I'm a divorced mother who is 100 percent against parental alienation. (And by the way, this isn't parental alienation at all. Please do not throw around that term unless you know what it means legally. You sound like an idiot.)

[/quote]

It's terrible advice signing DD up for a bunch of activities, she's not already in on the weekends so she can't see her da, because gf might  be there  has nothing to do with the well being of a child. I might be an idiot ,but you're a witch  who is messing up her kids because she's angry. You being angry at your ex no matter how justified doesn't give you the right to try to destroy the  relationship  with the father.. It's the kid that will suffer. and you'll suffer in the future once your kid figures out what you did.   See a therapist,  bitch to your friends and  stop messing  up your kids.[/quote]

Well, how about dad and DD sign her up for activities that dad accompanies near his home? Teens want and need to be with peers. Teen daughter won't be bouncing on dad's knees to connect, right? OW can go along or not (if she respects DDs need to have one-on-one time she won't of her own accord).

I'm a divorced mom. Ex cheated but never ended up with OW. He has DD every weekend and I encouraged him to sign her up for things. It has a positive effect on their relationship. He really has to be a father now. Before he didn't go to girls stuff. Horseback riding - he didn't like the poo. Now he's going around with a trailer and braiding hair (horse and DD). He packs healthy snacks, has learnt to plan in more time for girls getting ready, chit-chatting and finally he has a healthy tan. Before just stuck in the office or drunk on the couch. (Maybe I should hire him as an au pair now).

Give it some time and OP can go along to these activities once in a while. Trust me, it's great to be in the comfy dad's around the arena position. You get to float in when the games begin, cheer your kid on and leave before the odd parent's jobs are handed out.

Yay OP,take the high road. Fake it til you make it and you will find that you can enjoy a position you feared. You already won: cheater-free, every weekend to gain a great life and no bad conscience that makes you throw your presence at a teenager. You got this![/quote]

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