Reply to Disgusted by Wife’s Obesity But Don’t Want a Divorce

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Anyone who has struggled with their weight knows that it’s not as simple as calories in-out. Once you gain weight, it’s very hard to keep it off. Your body becomes more efficient. Haven’t you read about the study done on The Biggest Loser contestants?

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2016/05/02/health/biggest-loser-weight-loss.amp.html

You have to eat much less than a person who never gained weight does to keep it off—which people can do, but it gets very hard to maintain that.

Also, exercise is great. But you don’t really lose weight from exercise. I regularly exercise and have been fat most of my life. A lot of people who start exercising just eat back the calories they burn.

That’s not to say that you shouldn’t try. Extra weight isn’t healthy. I’ve been trying my whole life—up and down, up and down. And I actually don’t blame someone for not being attracted to their partner if their body really changes. You can’t really help what you are or aren’t attracted to. But, of course, everyone is going to change as they age. I miss my husband’s hair.

The truth is that it’s unlikely your wife’s body will ever look like it did before kids. Exercise is fine and good for you but won’t do much for weight. If your wife is on board, hire a meal service. Or you do the shopping, meal planning. But know that even if she loses it, it’s likely to return. There are lots of guys who like or don’t mind bigger women. I should know, since I’ve been one most of my life. If it’s really a dealbreaker, it’s probably better to let her find someone who desires her how she is. [/quote]

There is a kernel of truth in what you're saying in that not everyone is born to be stick thin.   But you've been fat most of your life.  OP's wife hasn't.   He has described some habits that are definitely contributing to her weight gain.  So changing her behavior should result in weight loss.  [/quote]

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