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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mom is caring for my grandma right now.  It’s tough.  My grandma refuses to hire 24/7 care, so my mom is her slave.  I don’t know how much more my mom can take.  My grandma is so selfish. 
[/quote]

We have 24-7 in home care for my parents. It costs 15k a month. She may not be able to afford it[/quote]

If she can’t afford expensive in home care then she needs to opt for an affordable center. If she really has no financial means other than SS and Medicare, the bill will be covered out of that at a decent facility. It’s unfair to destroy her daughter to have the experience she can’t afford.[/quote]

Not to nitpick but to educate: SS and Medicaid will pay for your stay at a long term care facility, though much more difficult to find a bed at and will not be nearly as nice as a private pay facility.
Medicare you get at 65 (a few other ways but for this purpose it’s 65) and is there for hospital stays, subacute rehab up to a certain point, but is not the payer a nursing bed.
Medicaid has to be applied for, and be prepared for the nursing facility to take all of your SS and give you between $40-60/month depending on your SS benefits. [/quote]

NP - I'm caught in the position that we can't depend on SS/Medicaid because dad doesn't want to lose his house because Mom's health is better than his and suspects will outlive him by many years.  They have a couple cars (worth very little, but still more than 1 car).  He has less than $75K left in his retirement plan (could be significantly less, I can't remember).  So, they can't afford care, they don't want to lose the little they have, so our family is helping as much as possible.  We're not at the point it's tearing us apart yet, but I can see it headed there soon since daughters (and their spouses) seem to "care the most", sons (and their wives) are less involved and one sibling is out of town.  This is all so new to me, I'm so thankful for threads like this to educate me, give ideas, and let me know what we're in for.  I have nothing to offer, but prayers for you OP and other posters.[/quote]

PP here.
Medicaid can kick in for one spouse and not the other, and they are not going to kick one out of the house (why would they want 2 on Medicaid when they could only pay for one, ie) and there are all sorts of rules regarding assets and splitting with one healthy spouse.
I would start looking into that now (as I recommend for everyone) so you are armed with correct  information when the time inevitably comes.

That’s why I pop into these threads to mention this, education and information is crucial. [/quote]

As I recall, the well spouse can have the house, a car,  and up to $96K in assets while the ill spouse gets long term care covered by Medicaid. [b]That was my my uncle bought an expensive new car [/b]when my aunt went into memory care (after years of being jealous of those women in the TV who were trying to steal her husband). When he died--healthy--in an auto accident those assets were attached to recoup Medicaid dollars spent on my aunt. His kids found it a rude surprise but I expected it--it was probably in the late 80s or early 90s when they passed laws so that the well spouse wouldn't have to become destitute or the couple have to divorce for the ill spouse to get care. [/quote]

Clarification: the new car (not rolls royce or even cadillac, I think it was a Buick or Olds but a nice car) brought the remaining assets down to the 96k max, the car itself was exempt from the asset limit. [/quote]

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