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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This reminds me of my early married life.  Long story short, my husband was playing all of us.  He was telling his sister and parents terrible things about me and vice versa.  We all hated each other.  He’d also say thing like he had to see them in secret.  But he was telling me all of these awful things they would say about me so of course I didn’t want him to see or talk to his family.

He has since learned his lesson.

My point is that you don’t know the full story here and it all sounds a little off.  My SIL would also say things like, “I’m just looking out for you.”   She even tried to help my husband find a lawyer to divorce me.

I remember one time he had just cheated on me and I was making a list trying to divide our marital assets.  I later read the texts he sent to his sister about it portraying a completely different scenario.  Basically that I was crazily trying to divide our property but of course no mention of WHY.  Like I just woke up that morning and decided let’s get divorced.

Really you need to forget all about this and just move on and be nice.  Hopefully things will improve over time.

[/quote]

Not the op but this is fascinating. And very believable. You need to be 2 to tango. Maybe your wonderful brother is also using your SIL to push his overwhelming mom away. Not saying he could be evil but he could play into it, without even being fully conscious of it. Creating issues and preempting a lot of her tantrums[/quote]

Oh wow. The first part is EXACTLY what my DH did during the early years of our marriage. He’d complain about me to them, and them to me. To this day I really do not completely understand why. Attention? At any rate we almost divorced- but did marriage counseling instead. It worked. DH understood why it was inappropriate and learned how to set boundaries with his family.

10yrs later our marriage is very strong. However the relationship with his family has NEVER recovered. Too much bad blood- they can’t “unhear” the stuff DH told them early on and the impression stuck. I’m still resentful of their participation in everything and keep them at arms length. DH has apologized and made it up to me but they never really can. We rarely see them.

I’d stay out of this OP. Not sure what is up with your brother but he should not be telling you this stuff. And if you are smart you’ll not be an active participant. Odds are they will kiss and make up, but your relationship with SIL may not ever be truly repairable. The awkwardness will extend to your brother and niece and it will be nearly impossible to have a close relationship due to the past- the longer this goes on. [/quote]

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