Reply to SAHMs, how did you decide when or if to go back to work

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^^ Agree! Why the nasty comparisons of husband’s salary? Money is just money. 500k won’t make you any happier than 300k.

As a WOHM, I will say that SAHM of young kids is awesome and challenging and I wish I could have done it but I was afraid I’d lose my foothold in my career if I was out for 5+ years. (I managed through WFH, flexible hours, and tons of grandparent help). But I would never envy a SAHM of school-age kids, unless you have the equivalent of an unpaid FT job like serious volunteer work or SN to deal with. Otherwise it gives you too much free time to obsess about the little things, helicopter/snowplow/engineer your DCs social and academic lives, etc. Work is good, it keeps you busy and gives you bigger things to think about. It keeps you sharp too. I definitely see a difference in my mother’s generation between women who worked vs. didn’t in terms of their mental acuity.[/quote]

This.  The ones who claim they need to stay home to manage the lives of their school aged kids are tiresome.  It's one thing if you have a kid or relative with SN and you take care of them, but if you've got typical kids in school, give me a break.  Just admit you are a kept woman and you enjoy it.  But don't give me a song and dance about it.[/quote]

I don't get how everyone pushes contributing to society and all that non-sense.  Do you really thing 95% of jobs are truly contributing to society and if you aren't doing them someone else will not.  There is nothing wrong with choosing not to work.  This poster is rambling about having WFH, flexible house and tons of grandparent help.  Many of us don't have those luxuries.  If some of us went back, even with master's we'd have to start from the bottom and make $40-50K, so after taxes and before/after school care plus hiring someone to take our kids to activities, it would be a wash.

I don't see how work is good.  I did it for 15 years before becoming a mom.  It was miserable.  Worked 12+ hours a day for low pay, constant stress, very little time off and  leave was regularly denied.  Nasty boss, nasty co-workers who pitted against each other because of the nasty boss. Why on earth would I want to go back to that?

And, clearly posters don't have kids with SN or doing elderly care or what I have to do - both. Now I deserve a break.[/quote]

I am the PP you are responding to and based on your post, I don't think you are the type of person I was talking about.  If you have been both taking care of kids with SN and taking care of an elderly parent, my hat is off to you and, yes, you deserve a break!

I object to the idea that work is not good.  Of course it is good.  Do all jobs have the same intrinsic societal value?  Of course not.  The jobs that are most critical to society are often those that people would turn their noses up at.  The world doesn't need any more real estate agents or, frankly, lawyers, but teachers or nurses or similar?  Absolutely critical for society, but we don't want to pay for them or give them any respect.  And there are benefits to using your mind, using your hands to make something, doing something that makes a difference in the life of another person, being answerable to someone other than yourself.

This thread is full of women living in a very unique bubble.  They have so much.  Stop trying to rationalize how being completely supported by someone else is somehow noble or important.  Nope.  You just don't feel like working and you don't have to  Be thankful and own it, and don't expect people to respect you for it.

I am talking about SAHMs like the OP who have a unique level of wealth and a DH who doesn't mind supporting them while they do basically nothing.  [/quote]

But OP is actively considering going back to work. Are you going to continue tearing her down or encourage her to try out work and strategize a conducive way for her to do so that is beneficial for society and her family or are you going to continue ragging on her for being a parasite? [/quote]

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