Reply to Why don't people leave their spouse instead of having affairs?

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Reply to "Why don't people leave their spouse instead of having affairs?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^ [b]I’m a proponent of working it out.[/b]  Looking back, there really is a payoff in staying in marriage.  Happiness is a perspective that can be cultivated, especially during those middle year’s when life is challenging.  [/quote]

You say to "work it out"...... Wife doesn't want sex, husband does. Explain to us (exactly) what does "work it out" look like here?[/quote]

Be honest. 
Use your words like a big boy. 
"I want to open the marriage or get a divorce."

And honestly, you sound like a big, whiney, angry toddler who feels he is entitled to sex. 
Have you tried being truly loving? 
You are probably very selfish in bed from the way you come across. I don't want to have sex with you either. You are probably critical and nit-picky towards your DW. 
My DH is kind and thoughtful and understanding. We have great communication and trust. He's totally getting some tonight. [/quote]

In what way do I sound “entitled to sex”? I support any woman (including my wife) decision to not have sex. Of course, no one is “entitled” to monogamy either. Now that you’ve admitted that declaring open marriage is the best solution to dealing with a sexless spouse, stand back while all the open marriage guy haters flame you into oblivion.[/quote]

You are saying if your DW doesn't want to have sex with you, you are entitled to seek it elsewhere. 
And I still think you are likely a really bad sex partner. If you were making sure she had multiple orgasms- she would want you more.[/quote]

Yes, exactly: if my DW doesn't want sex with me, I most certainly am "entitled" to [u]seek it[/u] elsewhere. A marriage which lacks a normal sex life cannot be monogamous. A sexless wife is not "entitled" to a man's continued fidelity.

As to your theory that a wife loses interest: why would a wife ever marry a "bad sex partner"? A why would another woman have an affair with a bad sex partner? Your theory is flawed.[/quote]

No one is entitled to sex. EVER. That's some straight up rape culture BS. Use your damn hand. And again, you haven't defined "sexless" with any definitive answer as to frequency. And in your wedding vows...where does it say IF and THEN? I don't remember the contract being "If you have sex with me x times per month THEN I will be faithful"

And trust me...women marry bad sex partners all. The. Time. Read up on this forum for many examples. Many of my friends were dumb enough to do it. 
As to why a woman willing to be a side chick has sex with a bad partner....probably Daddy Issues.

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