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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Well, I think my husband turned out to be a cliche of a man who believed that the only female on earth who was literally paid to make his life easier, and who had to formally subject herself to his formal performance review, just happened to be his soulmate.  (Insert eyeroll).  I dont think it had much to do with looks and everything to do with how she made him feel.  [/quote]

Men like women who submit to their authority. Women are attracted to men with authority. The problem arises in marriages and LTRs because women relentlessly try to challenge the man's authority - even though women hate, hate, hate it if they win this struggle.

Affairs like this at work are common because the work situation puts the man in an artificial position of authority over the woman. She has to obey him, and therefore she is attracted to him. Some consolation for you -- if your XDH lives with Mousy Librarian, she will start challenging his authority, refusing to submit to him, and over time, when she succeeds, she will stop being attracted to him (as he will stop being attracted to her, as no man likes the unpleasant and disagreeable partner that most women become over time).[/quote]

This is what I was thinking. Wanting and having are two separate things, why second marriage have a 70% divorce rate.  Go on steptalk.org to see how miserable they are, and their not even the divorced ones, lol.  My brother, and wife are on their second marriage.  She cheated with him, now both their kids rarely visit. His kids can't stand her son. Her son has long term anger because she left her husband for my brother. He and my brother couldn't stand to be in the same room. We felt that when we visited. My brother and wife decided to build a home far away which I'm sure hurt her son further.  I will say they do seem to have a decent marriage, but if one dies they will be pretty much be on their own imo. This is why my kids have always come first, and we have a great relationship.

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