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[quote=Anonymous]Why don't you ask to define kitchen rules prior to arriving. Then once they are explain to you, present your rules of eating.
If the two collide then negotiate the middle ground. One of them would be to respect not touching the host's food if that seems to be a case as some people are doing it out of money concern so either offer to contribute or to buy your own food that you will be eating between meals as you fancy and promise to clean the countertop afterwards. 
There is no law in the world prohibiting you from arriving with sliced chees and cold cuts and jar of mayo and mustard and one loaf of bread. Ask kindly where you can stash your stuff so you and your kids can have a sandwich in case you guys get hungry between the meals. If anyone will try to deny the right then you should renegotiate the whole idea of visit at such place.

At home though it seems to borderline with abuse to restrict food from a child that is growing and who's needs are not only greater but also kind of nonlinear. The kid can get hungry at any given time regardless of what they just ate because when they hit a grow spur which btw... can be anytime until they are fully grown. Restricting kids from free access to healthy snacks and food can lead to growth restriction and other developmental problems.

I am not talking about free access to bowls of jelly beans and goldfish and sneaker bars. I am talking about having
in the fridge healthy amount precut and ready celery sticks, carrots, radishes. Some healthy small sandwiches that are loaded with veggies or grilled veggies and cut and wrapped long sticks so kids can grab when hungry. Also some bowl of salad here or there.

I think it is very fine line between restricting food and being cruel. Many adults can not relate to the fact that kids
have  smaller stomachs and they usually don't fare well on three square big meals, let alone two.. because they can not load up so much. Also, they just don't operate like this. Their system does not support digestion the way adults do.
Kids who gets hungry, their stomach release tons of acid and this is not good for a kid. It is really bad for the digestive system.

One thing is to reasonably feed a kid, another is to starve a kid between meals. There is definitely a middle ground.

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