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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]To build on black parent's snark - he/she is somewhat right.  White/Asian unhooked students are chosen for the number of hoops they are willing to jump through.  After they enter the selective college, somehow they must decompress and lose that mentality, or they won't be enter the top echelon of society, which is what the top schools give you an option for.  I suspect this is part of the reason private school students do better.  Generational wealth allowed them to achieve without grovelling.

Not sure what the solution is, but I have been seeing this problem for a while.[/quote]

None of these narratives you’re telling yourself hold water.

My unhooked kid did get into a very top college. It was a stressful one. The drive that got kids in kept them going through multiple internships at once (at one point DC has a part-time job and 2 internships). Most kids had multiple internships and were taking more than the required number of classes. DC and DC’s friends got their dream jobs.

Second, my family has “old money” and this has nothing to do with admission to top colleges. Unless you have so much money that your family donated a building or endowed a chair within recent generations—great-great-great-grandpa doesn’t count—colleges don’t care. Sure, being able to apply ED because you can be full pay helps, but that’s it.

My kids went to public school, fwiw, except for a few years of private. I and other parents credit public school for making our kids into self-starters who can solve problems without a lot of hand-holding.
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Private school kids are not hand held in high school. Far from it. They are tested vigorously.  No weighted grades, no endless AP classes to pick-up grades higher, no curved tests, no curved grading system like MCPS. They get tested on oral and written presentations more than just random tests.  Many group projects and collaborations. Late assignments get deducted 20 points a day.   They have to research, think, and participate in classes all of the time in a round.  Many things a child in a class of 30 sitting in the back of a public school never has to do. They need to pass a lot of tests, yes - but many publics don't even have mid terms or finals anymore.  I wanted my kid to learn, digest, and understand.  Not just memorize. [/quote]

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