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[quote=Anonymous]To OP, my heart breaks for your DD and you. So much info in these replies overwhelmed me, I can't imagine how you feel.

I have a son (15) who like your daughter, struggles to eat the amount of calories necessary to gain weight. He gets full fast. He was a preemie and I've dealt with this his entire life. His bone age is about a year behind. When he was your DDs age is was 2 years behind. He is not done growing and his growth plates are still open. I feel your anxiety and shame that no matter how much we've tried, we have skinny little kids. My son does not have an eating disorder. He eats a variety of foods just not the volume that a teenage boy normally eats. DH and I were skinny kids. Both of us were also late bloomers. My mother was always hand wringing over how little I ate. I lived on pasta, whole milk and chocolate cream cookies.

DS knows he needs more calories and he tries. It's so hard. That shake after practice is filling (for him). I'm not sure if your DD is on a path to an eating disorder. Her anxiety appeared after the onslaught of testing and insanity. This compounds things because you now need to balance her emotional stability with her physical needs. You know your child. You describe her as healthy, bright, social and strong. I believe you!! My son is the same and also has amazing immunity despite having been preemie. Your DDs occasional dizziness may be from dehydration, so plenty of water. She's been tested and most concerns have been ruled out. Did they test for growth hormone deficiency? The accurate test is done over many hours with blood drawn at 3 intervals. Has her pituitary been checked? Yes there's bloodwork but an MRI of head also indicates if there is something not showing in bloodwork.  Does she have an aversion to certain food textures? DS does sometimes. There may be a mild sensory issue. Something to think about. Also, another poster mentioned an appetite stimulant and DSs endocrinologist suggested Cyproheptadine (it's no longer dispensed as periactin). I haven't tried it, so can't report. I'm considering it. Kids in general don't eat much at school. DS scrambles to eat in HS. He so busy, even during a 30 minute lunch period. This may be TMI...but in MS my DS would walk his best friend, a girl, to the bathroom and sometimes be late for his next class. She wanted him to wait outside bathroom because she had to poop and hated going in school. He added a level of security, crazy right? Does she avoid eating at school because she doesn't want to "have to go" at school? Some kids don't regulate to a certain time of day for a BM until a bit older than 11.

I feel like presenting the idea of a night tube would be pretty upsetting to her especially if she's crying for fear of a hospital stay, like her cousin. This is scary stuff for an 11 year old. Give it a month with a focus on substantial calories. Let her help with the process. I would make sure that your current team is in fact sharing info. It's one thing for the dietician and psych to suggest tube, but make sure pediatrician and endo/gastro are also on board (if it comes to that). Once DD adjust to this new crisis and her anxiety lessens, talk to her about the tube if that's the decision. She may be relieved to try it or not. I wouldn't burden her with it until you've exhausted the one month plan.

This is long enough, sorry. Just trying to comfort you in the midst of rapid fire in this thread. You are here, you matter and everyone should handle with special care if you are offering advice. Do it from a place of knowledge. Do not berate this mom! Keep me posted OP. Take good care of that beautiful girl and yourself. You'll get to the other side. You're doing the right thing! [/quote]

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