Reply to S/O Why do you care if moms stay home?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This subject makes my head spin.  I will never fathom why someone not in my immediate family would care whether I SAH with my own kids.  Unreal and so, so insecure.[/quote]

Similarly, I will never fathom why someone not in my immediate family would care whether I WOH.  And yet, based on the comments I've gotten, clearly some people do.  See, unfortunately, it works both ways.

You do you, I'll take care of my own family.  I have no issues with WOH, SAH, WAH, whatever.  I have friends in all those categories.  What I don't appreciate are the comments and insinuations that I am somehow "less than" as a mother because my DD is in daycare 40 hours a week.  [/quote]

This.

To the first PP, we don't care what you do.  We care if you attack us for our choices.

That is why some SAHMs have come on here to respond to the PPs that have intimated that stay at home parents are somehow hurting other women or whatever nonsense some crazy PP has posted.

That is why some working moms have come on here to respond to PPs that assert that working moms don't care about their kids or are bitter or whatever nonsense some PPs have hurled.

I really believe that, like the second quoted PP, most of us don't really judge other moms for how they manage their family in terms of working or not, full-time or not, outside the home or not.  We only step up to the line when someone else tell US they we are bad moms for the choices WE have made.  It's defense of self, not attack of you.[/quote]

While I agree with you in regards to my own thoughts on others (I don’t judge family choices and I really admire most of the moms I know) I disagree that most others don’t judge. There are way too many people that do so proudly. They see it as a positive character trait to judge the lifestyle choices of others (from dress to vacations to food and hair). These decisions are so personal and unique. [/quote]

You are correct, the threads on this site are evidence of how much people like to judge others decisions about everything.  But on the mom-front, I see a lot of posts that are just defensive.  And I get that.  When I contribute here, it's usually from a position of believing we need to support each other and not feed in to the stereotypes about women who have made a different choice, and, sometimes, it is because I don't appreciate people saying that they think my choice hurts my children.

I just don't get the judging.  Why would they care as long as everyone's kids are happy?[/quote]

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