Reply to WWYD? Struggling to help my devastated teen DD whose friends/teammates pranked her.

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Reply to "WWYD? Struggling to help my devastated teen DD whose friends/teammates pranked her."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would leave no doubt as to my opinion on this prank with the coach and the other parents.

I did once when my oldest was younger and pranked, and I really think that nobody thought I would say anything. But I did.

And you know what? It felt great to stand up for my daughter. I would do it again in a heartbeat. We teach others how to treat us. [/quote]

Glad it felt great for you. It probably humiliated your kid! [b]But hey you have to show everyone you’re the Mama Bear regardless of who gets embarrassed in the process right!![/b][/quote]

I think some "intense" moms get this drastically and dramatically wrong.[/quote]

I see the bullies have found this thread. They don't want you to do anything about this incident because they are afraid of getting in trouble.

OP, the coach really should know about this incident.  It affects the entire team and their trust in each other. Is this the kind of sport where the members are all out in a field or court together, needing to work with each other for a common goal? Or is it more of a individual sport, like tennis or swimming or gymnastics?

In an actual team effort sport, they all need to be able to work together and be able to count on each other. They will have trouble doing well in competition if they do not have the sense that they have each other's backs. I actually can see this kind of bullying happening more in individual sports, where the team mates feel more in competition with each other and may feel threatened by another's success.

Don't let your daughter walk away and let the bullies think it is okay to treat her or anyone else this way. Their behavior was just plain mean and they planned and carried it out over a number of days. They had time to rethink what they were doing and they did not. Telling someone in authority about what they did is actually a favor to them. They will have a better life if they learn now that it is unacceptable to treat people this way and that it is wrong to deliberately hurt others.

Best wishes to you and your daughter, OP.  
[/quote]

No one is saying that, at all - you seem to be internalizing and deflecting far too much.  I hope you don't do this with your own children, but I suspect you do, to their detriment.  Sometimes parents think they are helping when they are not, that's all.  Answering bullying with actions you simply can not take back is not the way to go. In fact, it is sen by schools as parents bullying. [/quote]

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