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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Leave OP alone. Every one of you would get annoyed to no end if your child invited a similar guest to your family vacation.[/quote]

But the rest of us would go into the vacation with a guest with an understanding of who is paying for what.

The rest of us know better than to allow a family member to invite a “third tier guest”. If that’s how we think of them, it will end badly.

The rest of us would follow some of the advice here, stock up on cheap food, let the boys eat some of the meals out on their own, and quit mentally tallying everything the kid eats and orders.  He is probably obsessed with food because Op is trying to micromanage and control what he eats.

The rest of us would speak up and ask for help if needed the same as we would with our own kids.  I know with some families, I will rinse off dishes after dinner when we are visiting and put them in the dishwasher, and then the husband or wife comes behind me a re-does it the “right way,” because bowl don’t go on the top.  Or I will discover that “we compost,” and there is a rule about how every item is disposed of and hosts going through the trash to rescue composting or recycling. Or strip the bed when I leave and start the sheets only to discover the host wanted to make the bed and not deal with it.  If people are anal control freaks (see also, OP) I’m glad to help, but I need some directions.  That is triply true for 19 year olds.

The rest of us would not focus so much on the obese “glutton” consuming “resources” (which is a weird way to but it).  OP’s primary issue is the quantity of food eaten by a fat person. And people have suggested easy ways to keep the kid fed without busting her budget.  She dowsn’t Want to control the budget. She wants to control the fat persons eating.

The rest of us would not micromanage the schedule of a college kid and his friend on vacation. And expect them to spend all day and all their meals doing exactly what OP wants with her and the younger kids. But, when the clock strikes 8, expect the will go out on their own for exactly 4 hours of activities on their own from a preapproved list that includes parasailing and jet skis.

The rest of us wouldn’t invite a third tier friend if what we really wanted was quality time with our college aged kid and him to eat every meal with us.

The rest of us know that if we post an issue like this in DCUM, we are going to get six pages of advice and opinions. And not all the opinions will be in line with ours.

OP has a lot of issues— with food, with obesity, with”resources,” with anger, with being a snob, with being a control freak.  The rest of us are not OP.

[/quote]

TL;DR: You have a kid exactly like OP is describing. Got it.[/quote]

LOL.  Exactly the opposite.  My DD is 14, 5’1’’, just got 70 pounds (yes, that’s correct) and has BMI below the 5th percentile. Not an eating disorder. She was a premie and has always been tiny and always been a picky eater.  So much so that they did a couple of days worth of work ups, physical and psych, at CMC when she was in 6.  She’s healthy. But she eats very little.  Mostly heathy. But loves iice cream. Right now, she drinking Ensure and trying to GAIN weight on her doctors advice. She is on track to get her first period on the 3rd of never and she can’t stay on her ADHD meds if she doesn’t gain some weight.  Plus, she is also a Go, Go, Go, Go machine.

I just don’t happen to like passive aggressive control freaks, who silently seeth, rather than politely using their words.  Or people who make stupid decisions, like nightingale a third tier friend, and then refuse to accept consequences. [/quote]

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