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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My cousin found her birth mother and got dragged into a nasty situation.  The birth mother was still an addict when she found her, but she didn't know this initially.  The mother's boyfriend, also an addict, saw that my cousin had lived a pretty good, privileged life and threatened her.  Kind of along the lines of, if you don't give us $$, we'll hurt your family type of threats.  She had to get the police involved and both got arrested.  Then the birth mother's other kids showed up and started harassing my cousin for having their mom arrested.  In person harassing, like showing up at her house, and online as well.  All any of them wanted was $$ from her.  She even had people contacting her on Facebook with messages like, "hey, I heard you're Larla's daughter.  You know she owes me $400 right?" and she was pretty terrified for about a year after she found her birth mother.

She really regrets finding her birth mother now.  She has three adopted kids of her own (two open, 1 closed) and she's pretty terrified that the one who was a closed adoption will want to start looking when she turns 18 and will find something kind of along the lines of what she found.  [/quote]

A situation, however awful, but not at all typical. In this case, the adoptee can just easily get a restraining order. Most situations I see, and there are many, are just businesslike and politely cordial.
There may be a generational issue, too. Older adoptions had more to do with unplanned pregnancies, societal norms, etc. Later adoptions have more to do with other issues.[/quote]

I disagree.  How do you know whether that is typical or not?  My sister is adopted,  always assumed her parents were teenagers when she was born.  Well she found them when she grew up, turned out they weren’t teenagers and they were in fact married, had already had several other kids and her father was incarcerated  when she was born so they put her up for adoption.  And guess what?  Both parents have been in and out of prison ever since, dabble in drugs, tried to get money from my sister.  Don’t buy the fantasy that all children give up for adoption come from young teen lovers and squeaky clean lives but had the misfortune of getting pregnant young.  [/quote]

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