Reply to DW work is impacting our marriage - looking for advice from the smart people of DCUM

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Oh FFS, there is no magic formula to spending time with kids. Dinner is not sacred, especially if another parent is there.  You do not have to have 2 parents at everything.  60% is not a magic line.

I am shocked at the level of sexism in this thread that this was A-OK for DH to do for 7 years while he traveled and worked and got himself into a high earning path, but how that Mom works it is a disaster.

I know many cabinet level or sub-cabinet or exec. level women who don't dine daily with their kids.  But, they do chat on the phone at the office, help with homework by text, have dinner with the kids near the office, send them pictures or whatever.  Their kids survive quite well, despite what Anne-Marie whats-her-face says.

My own kids didn't see their Dad for 6-8 weeks at a time while he was working in crazy places overseas.  No one ever told me he was a bad parent for not being there for dinner every night.  He sent pics. He emailed. He called  Etc.  Kids know that he loves them.  We had fun dinners without him, and I would share daily achievements/problems so he was still in the loop when he got home.  Kids benefited a lot by his experiences.

OP needs to grow up.  OP's wife deserves to develop personally and professionally and he took her time and effort to do that for himself, so now he owes it to her to hold down the fort, with or without her.  The kids will not die or being emotionally stunted if she doesn't show up for dinner most nights.

Sex is a different matter.  OP would do better to ask himself why his wife isn't more interested and try to adjust accordingly.  [/quote]

There is a difference between a temporary absence due to a work emergency or a special project and consistently not being home in the evenings to see your child which sends a very clear message to kids that they are not a priority,  Also, kids may not suffer from a short term absence, but hard to see how a kids benefit from not seeing parents for months at time, that just sounds like your rationalization.

After three years of ignoring family life, seems like op’s wife need to change her priorities.  Op changed his three years ago.[/quote]

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