Reply to Great life, great wife, but I'm unhappy

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]&gt; Now the bad stuff... I just can't shake this feeling I keep having that I made a mistake in getting into a relationship with her. I feel like I would be happier to just be single for the rest of my life. I just don't have the spark for her, nor do I feel in love with her.

I had somewhat similar feelings in two long terms relationships (engaged in first, married with two kids in second). I would suggest that you give yourself 3 months and if you still feel the same - divorce. Put yourself in &quot;deep analysis&quot; mode during that time and rethink everything critically.

For me, being single and not having to be explain what I do with my time was more valuable than marriage. My previous partners would not prevent me from doing things but I felt guilty nevertheless for not behaving like 'adults are expected to behave'. There is no rule in life that says that people have to be married. It is a societal principle and many people do it only because others do it and the society is tryin to convince you that it is the way to live your life as an 'adult'. This may well work for majority of people but not for everyone.

Imagine yourself free to do as you wish with your time vs what you have. Being single is a great feeling and can make you feel very content. To me, this feeling was more precious than being married and playing the 'father role' to my two children. As of children, they will be fine - how many children on average grow up with parents divorced? - but they will probably hate you, at least until later in their lives.

It's been five years since I divorced. I moved far, stayed single 98% of that time and my career greatly benefited from extra time that I was able to put in it. About a year after divorce I started feeling content and happy in a deeplt relaxed way again. It reminded me of myself when I was in college.

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You're right, PP. The children might hate you now, but that will definitely change when they're older and can understand better that you needed to feel content and free.

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