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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
OP I am a supporter of maintenance sex 100%. For women, its use it or lose it IMO. Hard to get a creaky unused engine back up and running (I say this as a 32 year old who had a hard time getting my own unused engine running a couple months post partum so not a ding on age).

I do not think you should focus on her orgasm. For a lot of women it doesn't happen every time, it can be enjoyable without that. What is virtually never enjoyable is kind of knowing its unlikely to happen and having to endure a lot of extra stuff to make your partner feel like they're helping you out. If she's open about when it is and isn't in the cards take that and run with it. [/quote]

Thanks for this. I was starting to second guess myself based on the SHE MUST ORGASM EVERY TIME comments. Believe me, I'm willing to spend the time making it happen for her. I enjoy getting to touch her and think up ways to try and get her off. For me that's a big part of the fun of sex. But if that's not what she's up for on a given night, I doubt it's helpful for me to insist. [/quote]

I think this is a fundamental difference between men and women thing. You can't imagine sex being enjoyable if it doesn't end in orgasm, most men can't. But I for one, and I don't think I'm the only one, can enjoy sex even if it doesn't end that way. Some nights it is easier than others to get there but if I feel like I HAVE to have one it is exponentially harder.

A lot of posters are talking about how much your wife sucks for giving up but the reality is she's not, she's talking to you, she's communicative about her needs and wants and she's willing to try to improve by having sex more frequently (at least based on the willingness to do the quicky?).

Don't listen to a bunch of people on DCUM in unhappy relationships, listen to your wife who seems to be actively thinking about the problem, not exactly sure how to solve it but trying to work her way through it with you. [/quote]

I'm like you in that I can't always achieve an orgasm and my DH knows it and accepts it. He does his best to get me there but it just doesn't always happen. He almost always gets there and I definitely enjoy helping him get there. We've been married 33 years and still have sex 1-2 times a week and it's always enjoyable.

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