Reply to Great life, great wife, but I'm unhappy

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I hope everyone else who has made comments about the fact that this problem would follow you regardless of where you were / who you were with have gotten through - I know from a rational pov you know that's true. I'm not sure if you're willing to give it a try, but have you ever talked to a counselor? I'm not saying you have to become a person who is in going to therapy for life, but I think a few sessions could maybe help you sort out the turmoil in your head
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Yes I definitely know the problem would follow me because in hindsight I've walked away from some really promising relationships in the past due to my pursuit/panic behavior.
This is why I think about being single because it seems like a real solution to getting me out of this pattern. Of course, I also realize that it wouldn't be long until I was lonely and sex-starved and trying to clock Tinder.

Also, I've been working with counselors/therapists for YEARS on this.[/quote]

It's a mistake to believe that EVERYTHING in your life needs to be disposed of and that you need to reset to zero.

You should think in terms of having a plan to make incremental improvements in various areas of your life, not tossing it all overboard.

It doesn't sound like you've ever really thought through philosophically what life, what your life, is really all about or what you want it to be about.

It sounds like you have no education in morals ethics, or philosophy.   Trying to fix your life without learning some of this stuff would be like me trying to.fix my cars transmission,

You sound depressed but also suffering from existential angst.   We define meaning in our lives by our choices.  It sounds like you are questioning your choices because of the seemingly infinity of alternatives.   This is pretty common in modern society.   Excessive choice causes anxiety, paralysis and depression.   People are happier when they have two or three flavors of ice cream to choose from than hundreds.

Objectively it sounds like you have a nice wife and.kids and have chosen very wisely with your wife.   The notion that there may be someone better for you out there is.most likely a fantasy or delusion and I think if you are honest with yourself you'd agree since.you seem inciteful.

Children are interesting and one improvement you.may want to try is involving yourself more.in their daily activities.  You will start to see them each as individual unique living beings and once.you internalize that they are in part manifestations of your own unique identity, their and your significance as their father at s crucial time in their lives make cause.you to have a greater understanding of the.meaning of your life and feeling of fulfillment and satisfaction in seemingly mundane daily tasks.

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Great advice[/quote]

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