Reply to Can you bounce back from being bad-mouthed to spouse's friends?

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Reply to "Can you bounce back from being bad-mouthed to spouse's friends?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I'm one of the pps you thanked for being kind. So sorry this thread has gone off the rails, but that happens on this board some times. Take it with a grain of salt.

Sounds like you've taken some really positive steps for yourself. Way to go! You can do this.

And, easy on the Advil. My neuro told me that if you take it for more than two days in a row, it can trigger withdrawal headache. Keep your Tylenol/Advil plan quite short.

Best of luck.[/quote]

Op is deluding herself that her husband is remorseful and scared about this.  Being supportive of her denial is not a kindness.  Being supportive of her going to therapy to gain strength and understanding of the situation is helpful.  Telling her to work on her marriage to psychopath is akin to blaming the victim here - not cool.

This is not Op's fault.  Her husband and his friends have quite literally been snubbing her for years.  There is a level of contempt and cruelty here that is NOT normal.  Her husband will continue to treat her like crap and undermine her sense of self worth in order to keep her under control.  [/quote]
He's scared that his life will blow up, which is not the same as feeling genuine remorse for YEARS of badmouthing his wife to his friends.  If he was genuinely sorry, he would be willing to do the hard work of talking to his friends himself.  He's not.  [/quote]

He's a complete and total azzhole and he's a coward.  If he sticks up for his wife his friends will cut ties with him and tell him to F off.  If he continues the act with his friends, he risks losing his wife.

Poor guy has created quite the pickle for himself.  But...he has already told Op that if she causes him to be ousted from this clique he will resent her for the rest of her life....

Get TFO Op.[/quote]

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