Reply to At what point does a favor become a burden?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I mean I would do it until her twins were 6 months old, because I remember how exhausting the first 6 months are, even with one. But if you don't want to do it anymore just send her a communication that you won't be able to do it past x date. [/quote]

And would you say thank you, if someone did this sizable favor for you?  Would you repeatedly and profusely express your gratitude about the load they were taking off your shoulders?  I'm guessing twin family is not doing this for OP.  At all.  And it makes it an awful lot harder to want to help someone out when there is no acknowledgment that such help comes with a burden for the helper family (and yes 10 min in the morning is a real burden for many).

We agreed to a carpool one year for another family.  Unreciprocated and once a week, and it involved driving 20 min out of the way.  It was a really big help to this family because of their situation, but over time the favor started to grate on me, big-time.  They never said thank you.  Not even once.  Yes, it's important to support individuals in a community who need assistance.  But it's just as important for those individuals to recognize the assistance others are providing.  Too often that doesn't happen.  At that point, it seems pretty reasonable that those who had agreed to do a favor for someone don't want to, anymore.[/quote]
I hope I would express gratitude. But looking back on the fog of newborn days, I had so many people helping me and pitching in, but I wasn't as gracious as I should've been... I was too wrapped up in the baby blues and lack of sleep. But yes, I think a recipient of a favor should express gratitude and reciprocate when the time is right. Please note that I didn't say that op should continue doing the favor... She evidently feels hard done by. She should tell the mom she's stopping in a date certain. No one likes a negative Nancy doing them favors. [/quote]

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