Reply to I'd like to tell Sheryl Sandberg to STFU.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I guess that's why she turns me off. I *don't* think that women are are own worst enemies. I don't think women are under represented at the top levels of government and business because we fail to sit at the table, or doubt our own abilities, or are "leaving before we leave."

I think the problem is systemic, entrenched sexism. Making it an issue about what individual women do, and holding herself up as the kind of solution to the problem, just doesn't fly.

I get she wants to write a self-help kind of thing for women. But it comes across like that advertisement that featured young girls talking about how they wanted to be scientists, then noted that a small percentage make it. The ad said something like, "Change the World. Stay in STEM." Like putting it all on these girls--that they needed to stay in STEM and change the world. Why not a message more like, "Hey, older people in power and especially men, change the world so that these girls are ABLE to stay in STEM."

Compare Sheryl Stanberg's books to, say, Barbara Ehrenrich's Nickel and Dimed: On Not Getting by in America, that showed how hard working, well-meaning people (and lots of women) were being systematically screwed.

If your message is that women need to "lean in" or that women are failing to make their partners partners, you are suggesting the problem is not, for example, the total lack of mandated maternity leave and time off to care for a young child.

She is not suggesting that women march in the streets and demand these things, is she? Instead she is talking about how, oh, women start pulling away from work when they merely think of having a child. And how oh so wrong that is.

I feel bad about her husband. But she just seems so tone-deaf to me. 
[/quote]

Well said.  Very well said. [/quote]

Again - did you read the book? She addresses these systematic issues, but until that is fixed one must live in reality and play the hand you are given. There are certain things you can control - your partner pick, taking opportunities to sit at the table when they arise, etc.[/quote]

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