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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]NP here and I don't agree. I believe a two parent household can work together as a team, to balance out the emotional needs a preteen has in a way that can overcome the long hours or travel obligations of one of the parents. 17:35 explained it very well above. This is not about OP's hours - it's about the work schedule of BOTH of the parents in this household.

I don't think one parent needs to be a SAH parent, but I do think at least one parent needs to cut back on the workload and be realistic about the obligations raising three children requires.[/quote]

I agree with everything except the last part.

Both parents need to cut back a little and raise their kids. Children deserve 2 parents.

They obviously have enough money to take care is the obligation that are not child related... Cooking, cleaning, fixing the car.

If a SAHP does all those thing to free up time for the father.... And the father is "fully engaged"... Then OP and her H could, in theory,  hire someone to do all those chores... So they can both be fully engaged.

I personally disagree that H in this situation are fully engaged.... So really they both need to cut back.

Also, SAHP with a H working tons need to figure out how to either spend less or make money so their H have time to emotionalky support their kids.

[/quote]

DP here.  Regarding your last sentence - again:  many SAHPs have spouses who are home early every night and spend tons of time with their kids.  It's pretty much a DCUM myth that all SAHPs have spouses working late hours every night.   :roll: [/quote]

I agree that most SAHPs have fathers that come home early and are with their kids every night.

I also agree that most WOHP have two parents that come home early and both are fully engaged with their kids.

All I am saying is that kids don't need 1 parent they need 2, when possible. [b]It's not a good model to say, well I stay at home so it's okay my H never sees the kids, I can fulfill all their every need.[/b]

When people give OP advise to cut back or SAH so their kids have 1 parent I disagree, I think OP [b]and [/b]her H need to cut back... kids need 2 parents.

Not sure why that is a controversial statement but it has obviously hit a nerve with some posters and I doubt it is posters who truly believe their H is fully engaged, its parents that realize they have condoned their H being absent for money and believe their being present is enough. [/quote]

Please show me where anyone is saying the bolded in this discussion, because the straw man is getting old. There is a difference between saying only one parent needs to available in a given evening to go to Target, and saying that kids only need to have a connection with one parent. [/quote]

You have to go back to the post that stated their H worked long hours and traveled a lot and that they only solution was to SAH.

That is where I stated "that is not a good model for boys or girls". It would be best if both men and women could be fully engaged in their kids lives.

Pick one...

1. A father that works long hours and travels a lot is fully engaged with their kid's life and OP is fine and need not change anything.

2. OP needs to scale back, so does her H (so do all parents that can't fully engage with their child even if 1 parent is there). [/quote]

You have some serious reading comprehension issues. I'm one of the posters you claim has said this, and what you're reading into my posts isn't there any more than your posts say you had a ham sandwich for lunch. [/quote]

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