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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]NP here and I don't agree. I believe a two parent household can work together as a team, to balance out the emotional needs a preteen has in a way that can overcome the long hours or travel obligations of one of the parents. 17:35 explained it very well above. This is not about OP's hours - it's about the work schedule of BOTH of the parents in this household.

I don't think one parent needs to be a SAH parent, but I do think at least one parent needs to cut back on the workload and be realistic about the obligations raising three children requires.[/quote]

I agree with everything except the last part.

Both parents need to cut back a little and raise their kids. Children deserve 2 parents.

They obviously have enough money to take care is the obligation that are not child related... Cooking, cleaning, fixing the car.

If a SAHP does all those thing to free up time for the father.... And the father is "fully engaged"... Then OP and her H could, in theory,  hire someone to do all those chores... So they can both be fully engaged.

I personally disagree that H in this situation are fully engaged.... So really they both need to cut back.

Also, SAHP with a H working tons need to figure out how to either spend less or make money so their H have time to emotionalky support their kids.

[/quote]

DP here.  Regarding your last sentence - again:  many SAHPs have spouses who are home early every night and spend tons of time with their kids.  It's pretty much a DCUM myth that all SAHPs have spouses working late hours every night.   :roll: [/quote]

I agree that most SAHPs have fathers that come home early and are with their kids every night.

I also agree that most WOHP have two parents that come home early and both are fully engaged with their kids.

All I am saying is that kids don't need 1 parent they need 2, when possible. [b]It's not a good model to say, well I stay at home so it's okay my H never sees the kids, I can fulfill all their every need.[/b]

When people give OP advise to cut back or SAH so their kids have 1 parent I disagree, I think OP [b]and [/b]her H need to cut back... kids need 2 parents.

Not sure why that is a controversial statement but it has obviously hit a nerve with some posters and I doubt it is posters who truly believe their H is fully engaged, its parents that realize they have condoned their H being absent for money and believe their being present is enough. [/quote]

Please show me where anyone is saying the bolded in this discussion, because the straw man is getting old. There is a difference between saying only one parent needs to available in a given evening to go to Target, and saying that kids only need to have a connection with one parent. [/quote]

You have to go back to the post that stated their H worked long hours and traveled a lot and that they only solution was to SAH.

That is where I stated "that is not a good model for boys or girls". It would be best if both men and women could be fully engaged in their kids lives.

Pick one...

1. A father that works long hours and travels a lot is fully engaged with their kid's life and OP is fine and need not change anything.

2. OP needs to scale back, so does her H (so do all parents that can't fully engage with their child even if 1 parent is there). [/quote]

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