Reply to Bullying, physical and sexual assaults at DCPS elementary and nothing being done by principal

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^^^^  PP, new poster here.  I'd say you don't understand.  [/b]Don't let your kid traumatize others.[b]  What's so hard about that?[/quote]

This makes no sense[/quote]

trust me, if there were a single way that parents could stop their kids from hitting, there would be no hitting. apologizing to other parents is for the parents, and has nothing at all to do with solving the problem with the kids. [/quote]

NP: Wow, there sure are a lot of apologist parents here who abdicate responsibility for behavior management in their kids at the drop of a hat!

Every single person here who said don't contact the parents of the kids hurting your child or who said "If there was a single way to stop kids from hitting there'd be no hitting" is acting like there are no badly-behaving children in schools who are like that because their parents suck at setting boundaries, addressing bad behavior, or accepting the fact that they may need help and additional tools beyond their household to learn how to manage their kids' behaviors.

I work in schools and the number of parents who show up and: 1) make excuses (i.e. don't take the behaviors seriously or blame the school); 2) deny their kids are doing what we tell them they're doing; 3) throw their hands up in the air and say it's beyond their control, then demonstrate right in front of us that they don't set boundaries at all for their kid when their kid acts up; or 4) are in denial that there is more than can be done and they should reach out or contact resources we refer them to for assistance... the number of each of those types of parents and some who fit in more than one category is mind-blowing.

And NONE of those situations are situations where "nothing can be done".

So stop acting like there's nothing parents can do better or differently.  Sometimes it's true, the parent has tried everything, or there's a bigger issue that tneeds to be addressed and the parent is open and willing to try other resources but didn't know what to do.  But there are also MANY of the other types of parents, and they need to come face to face with the parents of the child/children their child is beating up on and explain to those parents how "boys will be boys" or how everyone is over-reacting or how it's all the school's fault.

And then parents and teachers and school admins need to work together to come up with realistic and promising next steps where there are some.  You guys whining "there's no single thing you can do so stop talking about contacting the parent" need to grow up yourselves, because you do your own kids a great disservice with that attitude.[/quote]

[b]that's what you got from this, "apologist parents," really? not a single person came here and said "boys will be boys." all the parents I know of small kids with behavioral problems KNOW IT and are deeply distressed and trying to figure it out.[/b] 
[/quote]

Brush up on your reading comprehension skills darlin', I said "Everyone who said..." and then explained exactly which posts I was talking about.  And yes,  my point still stands, blanket statements about "Don't try to engage the parents of the aggressive child, they can't do anything else" are too general and therefore come across as blanket not taking responsibility.  I also say in my post that situations *do* occur where there really is nothing more the parent can do and they are trying everything.  But apparently you just skipped the part of my post where I specify the great number (and it really is way too many) of parents who are in denial, refuse to hold their kids accountable, or refuse to get any outside help.  Just because you don't know any of those parents hardly means they don't exist, and don't exist in great numbers at that.

Ask anyone who works in schools... they have way more experience with a wider range of parents than apparently you do.[/quote]

Well, based on how utterly crappy the "people who worked in schools" were with my kid's situation (and apparently the OP's situation, and many other posters here who have seen this on both ends), I don't really take that as a great credential.  And in any event, I stand by my ultimate take on this:  focusing on the other parents is very unlikely to help you resolve the situation, and possibly make it worse.  If they're in denial/abusive cretins/whatever, then rolling up on them and demanding an apology and groveling is unlikely to do anything.  If they're already trying to do everything they can, then you're just going to get more groveling.  In neither case are you doing anything. The entity that SHOULD be taking steps is THE SCHOOL.  If your child is being subjected to aggression outside the norm, or bullying (which are different, btw) you need to be going to the school.

As for reading comprehension, you're the one who claimed there were a "lot of apologists" here.  Not me.  [/quote]

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