Reply to Divorced parents late in life drama

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your father sounds selfish. You sound selfish. I know way too many women around your mom's age who put themselves LAST their whole lives, and stayed in bad marriages with selfish, rather miserable men, and put their children first. Maybe she's finally thinking of herself, now that she is free. There's a lot you don't know about what she went through and what she gave up, in staying with your father and putting all of you first all these years. Please don't begrudge her.

Your father is no longer her responsibility. It's very, very difficult dealing with an aging, sick parent. Don't put it on your mother. She's done her time.

And I agree that there's a lot of sexism involved in this attitude that women have to be the eternal caretakers. [/quote]

This. I know at least four marriages over 20 years when they finally divorced the women were elated and the men were trying to find a girlfriend as soon as possible to avoid being alone.  the stories I have heard were mind boggling, the emotional abuse, the gas lighting, the gambling habits--ALL of it hidden to some extend in front of the kids but the moms ate shit for years to keep their families together. Thats the difference between men and women. Women will sacrifice everything to keep their kids happy but dad usually said "My kids want ME to be happy so divorce is the best thing"-. OP I feel for you but its really not on your mom anymore.She could sympathize a bit but damn, she just got out prison and you wonder why she doesn't show up to visit anymore?[/quote]
You have no idea what went down in this particular marriage so stop with the women are the eternal victims cliche.  You don't know what the dad went through, either. [/quote]

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