Reply to what's the worst affair story you've heard of where the marriage recovered?

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Reply to "what's the worst affair story you've heard of where the marriage recovered?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Now go ask your husband if he can love the child you conceived in an affair with another man if this man insists on staying in touch with his child and in your lives just as your husband and you get on with rebuilding your marriage.   He visits.  He calls and texts you.  He asks you questions about the child.  He comes to her graduations, birthdays, recitals - right there next to your husband as he seethes and imagines you two between the sheets.

You say you can love your husband's love child? Of course you can, because you imagine that her mother has just disappeared somewhere ten time zones away and is never coming back, so you get to pretend you are the real mother.  Now imagine that instead of Thailand, her mother lives, say, a ten-minute drive away.  The child lives with her and your husband visits - because he's a decent person, isn't he.  He pays child support (which means your child cannot take that horse-riding lesson after all). He sees the mother regularly because there's no way around it.  The mother texts and calls all the time, about the child, about the money, about anything at all, really.   Your husband responds, because really, how can he not? The child wonders, aloud, why you live in a nice house while her mother lives in a small apartment.  The child wonders, aloud, why she gets to be with her dad some of the time, and your kids, all of the time.  The child asks you why her mom is sad all the time.  Your kids are watching and wondering.

But I'm sure you still love her. Because you don't understand, still, what this conversation is about.  [b]The objection has never been to the child.  The objection is to the continued contact with the other man or woman, which is damn difficult to avoid when their a child involved. [/b] This is why the recommended solutions [b]for the survival of marriage center [/b]around excising the affair partner from your life, whether that means complete integration of the love child into the family (and exclusion of the birth father), or complete separation from the mother and child.  Unless, of course, the mother very considerately signs off all her rights and vanishes into the sunset, leaving you to get on with life.  You know not all APs are that accommodating. [/quote]

I understand that it is very complicated. But to me, there are only two choices: I either stay or I leave. If I choose to stay, I choose all the drama that comes with taking care of the child and dealing with the crazy/not so crazy AP. 
If I do not think my husband is worth that drama after his cheating, I will go. There is no third option for me.

The marriage center can go to hell if I do not think my husband is worth the mess he created by cheating.

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