Reply to We are separating, telling kids on Saturday

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "We are separating, telling kids on Saturday"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  So now that his move out date is imminent, he's been saying things like "You know I haven't completely given up on us.  I still hope we can work things out and this separation will provide clarity."  
What do I do with that?  I mean, my first choice would be to save my marriage, but I don't want to prolong this insanity.  He'd have to do so many things, and I'm not sure he has it in him.  [/quote]

I want to say that my spouse let me stay after an affair. And it was touch and go for a while there. If we'd separated, I probably wouldn't have come back. But now I can say things are MUCH better, we are happy, and we've worked through a lot of the problems we had (yes, there [u]were[/u] pre-affair problems. It WASN'T that golden goose you keep looking for of a happy marriage but still one partner has an affair. I'm not saying we were miserable all the time, but we had some serious problems) (and I'll add, I had some issues that I hadn't dealt with, my own personal rug-sweeping, and that contributed to the marriage problems).

But you have to really want to work on your marriage, because it will not be easy, comfortable, or even loving a lot of the time. [/quote]

Regarding the happy marriage comment. If no person is perfect, and no marriage is perfect, then every marriage has problems. Does that mean that every person on earth is justified in having an affair because their marriage definitely has problems? No? So that means there has to be some bar for how bad the problems need to be to make it ok for you to fall into bed with someone else. And who sets where that bar is? Oh right you do. Gotcha.

I feel bad for your spouse that you're still married and you're doing all of these mental gymnastics to take away any of the blame from yourself. That your spouse has to take that on in addition to everything you've put him/her through just to keep their marriage together is so, so sad.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics