Reply to We are separating, telling kids on Saturday

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  So now that his move out date is imminent, he's been saying things like "You know I haven't completely given up on us.  I still hope we can work things out and this separation will provide clarity."

What do I do with that?  I mean, my first choice would be to save my marriage, but I don't want to prolong this insanity.  He'd have to do so many things, and I'm not sure he has it in him.  [/quote]

Wait, I thought he regretted your 15 year marriage and AP is his soul mate?  That seemed pretty clear to me.  He hasn't given up on his marriage, but we don't know if he has even given up the AP?  What clarity will this separation provide, cause I can say now he is acting like an ahole, and not treating you very well.  You are supposed to sit by and put your life on pause waiting and hoping he will realize that? Honestly check out chump lady and surviving infidelity for BTDT advice from differing perspectives.

I don't want to egg on a separation if you really want to stay together.  I just have this feeling unless he is willing to put in the work to figure out why on his own, and then you both go to counseling as a couple, you would just be covering up the real problems if you offer to take him back at this stage ...not that he is exactly asking to be taken back.
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