Reply to Why do so many men feel entitled to sex within a marriage?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Guy here:  When I married my wife I went in with the mindset that I was committed to meeting her needs over the long term.  We've talked openly about our needs and some of hers include:
- Me talking to her every day without being distracted 
- Being fiscally responsible and earning a good living
- Helping around the house: I pick up, do dishes, clean the kitchen, make the bed, put away laundry, do the grocery shopping, etc
- Being a good parent: I do homework every night, participate in cubscouts, do stuff with the kid every day.

I'm 45 and stay very fit (avid cyclist, gym guy) when I started having ED issuses I went and saw my doc and went through a series of embarassing conversations plus tests.

I'm naturally disinterested in doing most of the items above and I wouldn't do them if it wasn't something she needed.  If she were to get to a point where she was unwilling to meet my needs just because some article on Jezebel resonated with her that wouldn't work for me.  That's not a mature or realistic or sustainable view of a relationship.  
[/quote]

How about exhaustion, depression, anxiety, [b]cancer[/b], ..... really... you think people are not having sex because of a Jezebel article?

I doubt you talk EVERY DAY without distraction or if you only had time for 3 time a week now that you have kids I doubt you wife would emotionally abuse you. [/quote]

Really, PP? This is the equivalent of the Hitler argument in debate. Yes, female libidos are fickle after marriage and after 40. No one said women are evil because of it, but to deny this is true and to say it's mostly due to things on the level of cancer -- rather than a lot of other things that can be addressed through hard work and caring -- is just a crap argument.[/quote]

No. It is not the "Hitler" argument.... "In 2016, an estimated 1,685,210 new cases of cancer will be diagnosed in the United States and 595,690 people will die from the disease"....

Of course "hard work and caring" is going to help, but so many men refuse to do the "hard work and caring"... they want sex, and they feel entitled to get it, now, even before the hard work is done to figure out what is going on.

Things also happen that affect libido or the amount of time we have to have sex... children, death of a family member (this will happen to all of us), children with special needs, hard pregnancy, too much shit to do and yes... cancer (you must be young if you think this is as likely as Hitler).

[/quote]

Man here.  Cancer survivor with heart disease.   I have ED from the Cancer (I think), and the heart precludes the Viagra/Viagra like meds.   Sex is pretty limited for me.  Yet, my wife  stays with me.[/quote]

thanks for sharing. I am 50 and many of my friends are all dealing with something that makes it not always possible to have an active sex life with their H (due to their H's medical issues) . None are thinking of divorce.

I wonder if we could say the same about the men. I also wonder if the men were as understanding when their sex lives were affected by children, exhaustion, etc. [/quote]

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