Reply to Why do so many men feel entitled to sex within a marriage?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Why do so many men feel entitled to sex within a marriage?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
PP here.  I think that you are missing the point.  It is about the relationship, not the actual act.  So in terms of is listening to a spouse the same as having sex with them, no because the acts and the energy required is different.  What I am trying to say, and what I think a lot of spouses who are not having sex because they don't feel up to it for whatever reason don't really understand, is that sex is not just getting off.  It is bonding, it is a connection, it is a validation of love for one another.

So in that regard I would say it is the same as the man not listening to his wife.  Because in the scenario I listed about the hard day, the husband is saying I know this is important to you, as your husband I know that you need me to and value me listening and being supportive for you, but I am choosing not to.  The reason sexless marriages hurt is not that I am not physically getting off, but I am sharing with you something that is important to me and you are saying that you don't value me enough to do it.  The same as if the husband does not choose to provide emotional support.  Or pick a grander event for the comparison if needed.  For example picking up an in law at the hospital 3 hours away at 4:00 in the morning after someone passed away becuase your wife or anyone else in the family simply could not manage doing it.  I sure as hell did not want to do that but I love my wife and respect her so I did.  Does that make her "entitled" to expect that I will stand up and take care of her when she needs?[/quote]

I think you are missing the point.  The actual act you are asking your wife to perform is so intimate and personal and feels so violative when done against one's will and interest that it in no way compares to "listening to your spouse" or "driving three hours at 4 am to pick up a relative after someone passed away".

Also, FWIW, there are many ways to bond, have a connection or validate love for one another. Sex is not the only way.

Do you really have no idea why your wife has only had sex with you 3 times in the last 2 years?  If not, then you really have a problem that is way bigger than not getting sex.

FWIW, whatever the reason there's not been any sex, you might decide that that is not the way you want to live your life.  Just like your wife can decide that she doesn't want to have sex, you can decide that you do want to have sex with someone and either ask for an open marriage or a divorce.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics