Reply to S/o SAHMs - why do so many men want one?

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Reply to "S/o SAHMs - why do so many men want one?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I always knew I wanted to have a career. I met DH in college and he was 100% in my corner. After marriage and working for a number of years, we had DC1. I took a break and went back to work after 3 years. When DC2 was born, the logistics whupped our asses. DH was making a lot more than I was so there was really no need for my salary, and the fact that I wanted to pitch in helping around the house did not work well with his schedule.   DH's solution was "Please get whatever help is needed to help manage the house and the kids, because I do not have the time".  Since I had the finances available, I outsourced everything that I could. Until I realized that there was a limit to what could be outsourced, and that this was not the life I wanted for my kids and my family.

I still have outside help, but now I am a SAHM. My DH is beyond grateful that I am with the kids. He did not start off as wanting a SAHM because he thought it was selfish, but now, he is very relieved that he has one.

If I really insist that I want to go back to work, he will try and help me as much as he can, but he and I know that it will not be enough. He did not want a SAHM, but our family needed one. [/quote]

Let me understand, your DH didn't want you to stay home because he thought it was selfish of him to ask, but when you asked him to 'pitch in' (when BOTH of you were working) to raise his kids, and he essentially said 'don't bother me', he didn't consider that selfish?[/quote]

Is it really that difficult for you to understand simple things? My husband could not pitch in with what needed to be done at  our household with two kids, because of his work schedule. It was manageable when we had one child. By the time second child came, my DH was also making a huge salary and thus had more responsibilities at work. Usually, a huge salary corresponds to more time at the office.

We had the money available (thanks largely to his income) to be able to outsource all childcare and household chores, however, our children were not getting enough time with us and were being raised by other people for longer periods of time in a day, than we were happy with.

So, this is my story. It might not be your story, but based on your comment, I can imagine that your story is a petty and bitchy one, so don't bother writing it here.[/quote]

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