Reply to Parent subsidizing my sib big time but not me. Would you be ticked?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I understand the OPs feelings - my DH and I paid our way through grad school and worked to save for a down payment when we bought our first place which was within our means at the time.  6 months later his parents gave his brother and his wife a huge down payment (50%) to purchase a place that cost more than what we had just bought.  They also paid off their school loans to help them qualify for the mortgage.  They told us about it, which I wish they hadn't, because it was apparently also an offer available to us.  It was a half-hearted offer - we could only take them up on it if we purchased a new home.  And they already knew we had paid our way through grad school!

A few years later BIL started a family (at same time as us) and they moved to a bigger house with another gift from the parents.  Since the brother's wife was a teacher, and childcare so expensive, they "helped out" by paying her to stay home.  Several more years later the brother grew bored with his job (working for one of his dad's friends) and they bought him a franchise to run.

They never brought the old offer up when we were in the process of buying a new home several years after we bought our first place.  We didn't ask them for it - but I do mention how sorry I am that our place isn't big enough for them to stay (no guest room) when they come for their annual visit each year.  They have to stay in a hotel.

BIL is the youngest and clearly the favorite.  I used to think they were in complete denial about the propping up as they constantly boasted about him to us.  MIL would tell me how great it is that SIL stays home with the kids; picks them up everyday from school and has great bonding time with them "because she can."  When we would plan a family trip and DH and I could only come for a week, she would tell me how BIL/SIL are coming for two weeks "because they can."

Recently MIL started showing signs of early dementia, FIL has health issues.  He asked DH to be executor of estate and take financial decision responsibility in place of his mother if he passes.  It makes me sad because they really just want their kids to be happy, but on some level they know their baby is still a baby.  
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If i were your husband i would have cut them off. [/quote]

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